Never Gonna Call You Daddy

There was a time when I looked up to you
I wanted your affection
I wanted to know more than anything else that you loved me
But life will never be like that again
How you can bitch and moan
I'm your son you bastard
How is it that I hold in every word told to that little boy?
Remember that day you picked me up to throw me?
Flying through the air and landing on my head
Remember when you told me that bad things follow me?
Releasing demons to chew on me
You broke my heart into a million pieces
You were my father but now you don't mean shit to me
Never knew why she always pulled away from you
Now as an adult it all makes sense
You poured out what she hated
Wrath on a baby, you feed him to the fires of molech
All so you could be number one but damn that backfired
Only echos are left in a house we no long own
Because of your sin of greed you had all you would ever need but you will never have me
I am the son that got away
You spent my inheritance so I ran away
Left the shelter of the covered wagons
Venturing out into the wilderness on my own
Now I hear knocks on the door asking for money you'll never get back
Giving with the attitude that I some how owe you
Motherfucker I was the miracle the best thing to ever happen
But what the fuck am I thinking
You had forsaken your other children why shouldn't you do the same to me
Don't ever tell me that you fucking love me!
Held up at the tip of a barrel
Hot metal burned the mark of the beast into my temples
You brought fear into a home that needed nothing but you fucking packing up and leaving
Maybe it would have been better in the end
But who knows those days are over
And just because you got that bitch ass daughter back up north kissing your ass
Don't think that I am gonna bend over and say please daddy forgive me
The daddy days are over now I'm the godfather
Holding motherfuckers at ransom and I don't even need a gun
Knives and machetes are useless
Everyone knows that I'm scarier then any nightmares you could dream of
Night terrors gave the little baby seizures
Perhaps that little boy knew that it was better to check out than be your son
Should have murdered you that night I heard you fucking my mom
Wouldn't stop until you had your fix and all I wanted was to kill myself
Strangle myself in my sleep hearing the bed in the next room creak
Never had I ever wanted the walls to fall on me quicker
Let the creature on the wall come down to devour me
I felt that it was at the time that you consecrated a marriage by rapping a kid
Fuck that shit, was it all of this that I grew up hating myself
You'll never be my father after this session that I now reminisce
Calling back dark memories in the night as a man on the brink of himself
Teetering on greatness I made this life myself
Evil deeds followed by Jesus forgive me
Tonight I take the life of the man that should have never sired me