The Feeling of Holding Secrets

Can't help but cry when I see those commericals
Dogs that have been beat and kids that sleep with distended bellies
But who the fuck cries for me?
All I do is give of myself
And whenever I need the time to lay down
I get a shit storm of verbal assaults
Man I thought those days were over
Now I get it at home and from across the country
But until I collapse I swear that I'll be different
You'll never see those grand kids if I have it my way
No one will ever talk shit to them like was done to me
That man was my hero and you talk down to the dead
How fucking dare you
I dare you to say that shit to my face
I am not above hitting my pops
Slap you down like you did to my spirit
Telling my mother that I would never be tough
How do you know what tough is you coward
You ran away from your children that came before us
Left them to the fucking devil and didn't give a shit
But God knows that if it was me in that situation
I would have gone to hell and back to save my babies
But remember no one cries for me
No one knows that pain that I've been feeling
25 years of you trying to pull my life support out
Telling me to cut the cord
Well that's cute but remember when your momma died
I was there to hold you and catch all of your tears
I spoke for you because I could feel all of your feelings
But fuck that I'm just a child and you think that I know nothing
And for that you don't deserve to be forgiven
But I'll do it for fucks sake to put the ball in your court
King in mine and you'll never be invited in my house
I'll keep you our in the freezing cold
Just so you can know what it was like in those days when you had it all
And you left me with nothing
Funny how when the tables have turned it's suddenly not fair to you
Nothing was fair for me and look at me now
Still struggling but at least I have a future
You'll be dead old and alone real soon
And just when you think that they'll be at your funeral
You've awakened to find you're a ghost with no friends
Let the hype die down and find out what it was like to be a son with no rights
An heir to nothing except everything I never wanted to my last day
Give it all back I don't give a fuck
You tell me everyday about how you've spent my inheritance
That's not a joke to me it's real because I'm fucking broke
You aren't even a man because you don't bleed like I bleed
The red pours from my eyes and for you out the wallet
Pop another tablet and make the pain go away
But I hope to God your nightmares eat you alive
Remember me your son
January of 88 the day came and you lost it forever
Your salvation went out the window
Thought I was stealing your wife and look it fucking worked
She hates you and can't fucking stand you
I know things that you don't know
And I'll be glad to tell you the day I get to piss on your grave