Smoke

Blown across the sea
Drowning becomes my empathy
To be free from earthly bounds
Not that I want to die
Just passed through the atmosphere
Focusing on the beautiful things
Leaving all the darkness behind
I had a dream that I had never lived
And I woke up knowing it was all a lie
Everything I had ever known
Turned against me and walked out the door
I changed, I was free but only in my mind
But was I unhinged or did the chain just gain more links?
Alive or just breathing I can't be certain
Oh to know what truth and reality were
My God tell me if I'm a child of fire
Born out of sand to be something more
My destiny is up in smoke because I'm stuck
Caught in a life that I don't want for myself
A silver lining is all I have left
And it fades when the alarm rings and I'm forced to wake
Send me back to my dreams
My hopes and my desires
Even if they are grotesque and oblique
At least the longing for them allows me to continue breathing
Tell me who I am
Just another loner in this music city?
There must be more to living then going up in flames
Plea for me someone please
Where is my advocate and defender?
When will I have my rest,
In a grave I don't believe exists?
This is not living, this is not drifting
This is evaporating from a world that crushed my body
Gave up the ghost long ago
Not a cry for help just some food for thought
The man I became doesn't look the boy he overcame
All to carry a soul not his own
It all just became clear
For the soul he carries is infected
And now the disease has spread