Same Old Same Old

I can't believe I'm writing again
How easily the thoughts come past
Through the fingers and onto the page
Stained with blood these hands have witnessed change
Since last we met things are different
But the dark matter sucks me back
And I'll never be able to write from the other side of life
I still drown in the blankness
It's so maddening that there are days I can't wake up
I'm walking around alive but I'm not really there
The lights are on and no ones home
Except the house has been vacant and burnt to the ground
My mind is fixed on things that I can't fix
Worried about things that I can't predict
I hold in my heart a fear of nothing
Yet my soul grows tired from the fact that I'm dying inside
You only get one shot and I've fired past the target
Missing my prime I now just sit and wait
Knowing what I know I know that I will never even die
Just waste into nothing like the sound in my mind
White noise is not the best way to describe
What it's like to live inside of my shell
The sound is so quiet that it results in pain that lingers forever
Burst the bubble and come outside
To find the world bowing down to the sun as it cooks them alive
I am a legend and a hero of renown
But I hold no trophies and no one wants me to sign
The broken pieces of paraphernalia that mark my existence in time 
How I wish that life would press on me the extraordinary
So that I could sit in a room and tell the tales
Without the listener falling into a coma
Even I don't want to hear myself
As I speak of the mundane expression of humanity that I eke out 
Dig the tunnel with a spoon and you'll know what it's like
The ghost inside this mediator wants out and he wants adventure
But when you live in the worlds most underpopulated town
You can do nothing but starve and go to sleep
Don't think I'm deceiving myself on this one
I'd set myself on fire just to watch me burn
If it meant that it could give me an escape for 10 damn minutes
Barely been alive and this whole time I've been stuck in my grave
There is living worth doing but all I ever see
Is the same old same old crawling back to me