What Changed?

Everyday I asked myself,
All my life who am I?
All my life who am I?
ALL MY LIFE WHO AM I?
ALL MY LIFE WHO AM I?
I screamed and screamed and there was never an answer
Just a lonely room on an island the world forgot
I was alone until a pure white light came
It gave me hope and it gave me rest
I worked in the beginning but then we were stuck
So far in love that the answers started making sense
I was here for her and she was here for me
And together we were the express image of something greater
Bigger and better then I had ever thought existed
She was the one and will always hold that prize
But out of the woodwork something did arive
The number could be counted on one hand
Yet to me it was like they came in droves
One by one they saw me when all I wanted to do was hide
I was changed and I didn't want to be that old guy
I wanted to be nice but now I see that it all backfired
I searched deep inside my mind trying to find
I was still that little boy who only wanted to die
No one ever wanted me and I thought I was cursed at birth
To live alone and die alone without the half my heart was searching for
Figuring out who I was in partial form led me down a very wrong road
There were others there waiting to exploit
Thinking long and hard and I still couldn't figure out why
Why there were there
Why they were talking
Why they were seeking
Why they were dead set on my flesh
Confusion set in and all I wanted to know was,
What changed and had I really become fine,
Something to be wanted, lusted after like my pedestal had surpassed the rest in line?
Never understanding even now as I write
Here comes a scary thought
If they only knew my true nature they'd never give me a look
So the realization is I'm hiding and I don't know why
I don't even want to show myself fully to the one I love most
Can I help that I like the attention but it forces me to run
Now my guilt outweighs my confusion and I'm trapped
But the thought that I can't escape
The thing that makes this all seem to be legit enough to be phony cash
Is what changed and why can't I see it in myself?