The Letter Never Sent

SCREAMING AS LOUD AS I CAN
No words come out
I'm voicless
I've become my surroundings
Unheard the mouth opens letting the fire out
Dragons imitate but they could never produce this kind of filth
They say sign the dotted line and don't think twice
You have to be good now buddy it's for your own benefit
We know best and you have to hold it in
Self control is the key to winning this fight
But to that I say
FUCK YOU GO KILL YOURSELF
I've got this pent up energy
To kill, to spill the blood of all those who hurt me
You took my youth but gave me a weapon in return
The experience it takes to end every fucking one of you
But there is no relief
Standing over the dead there is no one left to blame
No one left to destroy with my fists
I'll bite the heads off of every single one of you
Spit down your severed necks and wear your skin as a mask
Hiding all the pain and the hurt
I'm betrayed by my own eyes
Rub dirt in them so they'll turn black and you'll never figure out another thought
Analyze this for a start
There is nothing more to do then just waste away
I see who to blame and yet they can't be touched
Yet I can't help feeling like this is all my fault
BUT THE RAGE WON'T LET ME FORGIVE MYSELF
I have to live off of the hate that has been built up
There is no fuel like it NO there is NOTHING like it
Yet the knives don't cut deep enough
The bombs don't blow away those soul fragments
Bullets to the head don't erase those kind of memories
I was fucked and left for dead and I still can't forget
It molded a monster, a man-eater
I've survived on the flesh of my enemies but now there aren't any left
How long can I go on by feeding on myself?
I came out of a shadow and entered into the world of shadows
There is no light there is no hope there is nothing to hide the scars
I've laid before the world naked and bare and they looked on in lust
Never in help, NEVER IN HEALING!
All I ever wanted was to be right
Now those hopes have gone out the window
Rope tied around the neck
The taught pull severs the vital parts from the mechanical
Second chances have run their course
Time to give up and float away
Fuck you if you think I'm gonna kill myself
I'd rather piss on an electrical line if I thought that would help 
NO! YOU WON'T TAKE ME, YOU WON'T WIN!
I'll let the devil come get me before I ever give in
Hate is such a power to live for, so much so I've never known peace
I've never known the love of a mother, at least one that birthed me
How do you live knowing things of that nature,
Holding something of such magnitude that crushed your ever waking thoughts?
You've never known the dark until the dark is in your mind
Years and years of pleading
No one came to rescue me from the haunts of the night
So I became one to fucking save myself
Finally you knocked on the door without an answer on the other side
You barged in to find a burning body
Once upon a time your son laid there
Now just his demons feasting on his corpse remain
Scary to think that you had a hand in this
So you console yourself by denying and denying until you believe the lies
Reach deep down and recall what it was first like
When you learned that your little boy grew up and lives life with his middle finger permanently up?
Remember the note and remember the day
Signed on the bottom "With love from the land of the dead"
That's the day you lost me to the dark for good
And for the rest of your life you will feel my wrath
Your little baby has become a whore to the god-forsaken things
Burning with anger the creed I now live by is this
One day and one day soon
I'LL HAVE YOUR FUCKING HEAD!