When Lady Luck Passes You By

Seated in agitation and knowing exactly why
Waiting for that every other day to come
The day to let it all out
This spew that comes from the depths of my chest
Is there something I missed?
Will I forever be cast into decent from the skies?
How many times must I ask the question why?
No rest for the wicked and no breaks for the apathetic
Lady luck packed up and left
Leaving no fingerprints or evidence
Everything I am I've made myself
Only to find that even that was a lie
For at the genesis of my creation
A spirit of unbelief was blown into dusty nostrils
Creating in myself a new man
At the apex he is half man half beast
The best of both and everyone needs to know
That this had nothing to do with chance
This was all planned out
From the very beginning someone knew the story
A manifest of an existence existed before I twinkled
Eyes now mist as they think back to being chased away
Told to shut up and get behind
Behind what I did not know but I starred at those walls for so long
The brick and mortar I poured from frustrated cries for excellency
To be perfect for you and you, but never knowing who
I had to be the one who changed the mold to fit for you
So call to that woman that stalks the downcast in the dark
Let her reach out and make something of this mess of flesh
Only clay being molded in the hands of my previous killers
Why do I continue to live day by day without you?
It makes no sense yet the sense is plain to see
That no one wants me, even the ficticious
I have to be something more in order to find satisfaction
And that pleasure is not sought in the approval of others
It is only within myself that I seek an unending joy
So turn off the lights and close the door
Things have become so clear to me
For once I've seen that this is finally understanding