Wrath Through Absence

I feel like I've been saying this for so long
Waiting for the bleeding to finally stop
Pointing broken fingers to place the blame
Knowing the outcome before the source
The penalty for existing has come to this
Being given over to depravity
Lusting for the sake of lust
And killing for the sake of the thrill
Wanting so bad to rid you from my being
Yet you were inside of me
All the way down to the core of my soul
My mind blown when I realized how
You slay me now as I think back
Everything I ever did was wrong
Spoken to me through the lips of one I held as perfect
I needed you to be that for me and you let me down
Turning the tables on myself I made a mental picture
That I was the devil in disguise
If I believed in myself as much as I believed in you
This would be so much easier
But it's not
So that outcome was a broken bone sticking through
You poured out your white hot wrath
By leaving me to be by myself
Your absence speaks louder then your attempts to fix it
What did you expect to happen when you left me out,
That I would grow up to be something special?
Everything that's special I crafted for myself
Out of pain and torture I grew these muscles to lift myself up
From the gutter that you threw me in when you denied
The very fact that I was your own flesh and blood
My God this story is getting old but for once I see
It wasn't me that was wrong
So look at me now
Look at me now!