He Nods At Things Being Begun

Purpose deformed and defamed
What is wrought is not always what's right
Immortal men sitting atop the world
Peering into the lives of insignificant beings
What will they find as the examine my mind?
Will there be laughing and cheer,
Or weeping with gnashing of teeth?
Around the corner lays a new life
But at this point it might as well wait
Like the lost lover who yearns across the sea
On a widows peek victorian in state
Stoic yet petite in lace as tears kiss dirt streaks
When will my sailor be home she cries,
How long until my life takes a step toward the divine?
The place of drooping shoulders has been set for so long
Who will come to help me bear this cross of mine?
Question after question fills my mind
Yet darkness closes in quicker to settle a soul of nausea
A pen is presented in shadow held in gnarled hand
Dip it into the censor filled with the blood holy men
Sign your life over and let it be mine
Veiled eyes hide in hooded black gaze
I strain to see but make out approval
Sinister in a cheek smile that sends shivers to the spine
Look into the sky and see the clouds roll by
Raining in a field it's a table cast from devastating stone
Standing alone with a stranger in tow
This is now what slays me
To take the utensil and later die by fire
Or hold onto the failure for the everlasting where the worm never dies
Bowing to the cash cow for riches and glory
A dilemma of obvious proportions
Everything seems to stand on hold
For even the rain of misery doesn't hit the ground
What is a life now infested with pain?
State the blank and understand why
Beginning to believe that I am nothing
Without the ego that is different then I wanted
I dream of the passion of the beast to be mine
That the shell of the man awakes to find he's weak and dying
Make the monster me and I he
To the greatness of kings will shall raise but consider the stakes
This is the poison of anxiety mixed with temptations kiss
Growing out of a child who has venom for plasma
New things are being begun
How will the end of this story be written out?
One more beep on the monitor before the flat line strikes
Pick up your weapon and sign the life away on dotted lines
Or turn around to find that a heavenly father stands by your side
There is no retreat now just a freezing in time
Drop the bomb and leave no one alive
Let no one survive and end it all tonight
Beginning again seems so far out of reach
But the becoming of all that is vile seems to fit my state of mind
Who will I be when I wake up in the morning?
Speak to me my muse of a mind
Create for me the end of my story before I give up fully
The Devil is now waiting and he hates no for an asnwer