Heavy Is The Head That Wears The Crown

Pressure to perform I've become the court jester
Wearing so many hats and none of them make money
I can do this and that with skills beyond my years
Yet all I'm seen as is just another problem child
Conforming to a form that I don't even know anymore
Standing up out of the ashes of a former life
Lift high and dry by mommy and daddy
But I kept on fighting and picked up an ego on the way
Thinking that the world would be better off
Not if I was dead but if I was the one in charge
Running the world like a kung fu movie
Cutting off heads and enforcing a law that I won't live by
Remember my past and singing lullaby's from older days
Row your boat your blood forms a stream
Gun shot wounds to the head
Memory loss, is that the reason that my inner man has a lisp?
So creative but the only thing I can think of is revenge
I swear on my pathetic life that one day I'll get it
Somehow my magical thinking has got me beliving
That one day I'll blow up big and then I can pull the strings of life
Does money really make the world go round?
If so when I finally get mine I will buy the worlds biggest crown
My head is so weighed down by thoughts that come out at random times
When I try to rest I just wake up to dreams that haunt me
A weakness that I just can't lift enough weights to build up as something worth showing off
Damn this perfection is going to be the death of me
Being a king of nothing ain't worth the shit I take on a porcelain toilet
And after so much progress I still hate myself
I'm finally remembering what I used to write about
How I was nothing and suddenly the tones all changed
Switching to blame that was the name of the game
But after so many years it only makes sense that the reason behind the pain was me
Make my enemies a footstool for my feet
Look past my toes to see that it is me humiliated on all fours
New dream is just a repeat I think the pain ends when I eat a bullet
Stress is a killer there's got to be a faster way out
Fuck, it just makes me want to scream
Attach myself to the anchor of something halfway decent
But I can't find the rope to pull myself up with
I guess I'll have to take this noose off and use that
My life is a mess but at least it's by design
Never really wanted this but if I have to take something I'll take this
Brain damage due to an overdose of neglect and hardship
Heavy is the head that wears the crown
Am I the only one that knows it's made of fools gold?