King of the Mountain

Back at it one more time
Ladies and gentlemen one more for the road
The encore paved in lyrical gold
Woke up and rolled out of bed
Falling over on a chair
Landing on the ground
Standing up and hey look at that
A crown somehow sown to my head
I am not God by any means
But let me be clear
I do not fear death
It fears me
Scarier than any monster that comes up out of the pit
And this is by no means religious
No way in any form or way
Spiritual as an artist explaining the world through atheistic knowledge
Remembered for days how my dad used to say everything I loved was demonic
How bad things followed me
Did he know that Satan had come down to give me an award
Put the medal on my chest and made me a general
Hording over the armies of the underworld
Yet little did he know that I was a double agent
The pay on the other side was more than double
I had the world and I bowed down to no influence
Motivated to do nothing just what I wanted
Found perfection in myself by doing nothing
Nothing could stop me I was the king of the moutain
Standing with sword raised above my head
The manifestation of Wallace and Gandhi reborn
Peacekeeping warrior loved by all and hated by those that mattered
Mastered my own universe in some weird form of reincarnation
Resurrected and nailed to a cross
Two wood beams nailed together by the hatred and wrath of a physical mother and father
Born again on the third day transcending everything the theological world understands
I am not the Christ but God knows that when there is someone who needs to be wacked
I'm the guy you call to do all his dirty work
Assassin by name and this creed I hold as my own
There is no one better because I hold the power of death like keys on a lanyard
Nothing in common to the world I'm of a different species
Never once did I doubt after I awoke from my time spent in the hamster wheel
Spin the wheel now and tell them what they won Jack
A date with torture by the hands of the man who starred all hell in the face and laughed
Come at me if you dare this king has nothing that he won't do
Ethics and morals out the window I've become my own person
Horns and halos both grow out of the same old head
Black diamonds and the whitest gold all infused in the crown given to me by God
I'll pull the trigger and send you to where there is no coming back from  
God's mafia hits played out by me the jack of all trades, master of the hottest hatred
Call me two faced and call me crazy but don't you ever call me a liar
I'm the one your mother warned you about
Emperor of my own mind so come on step inside and get ready for a surprise
Put you on the rack so fast your head will fall off like the reaper hit you with his reaper
Prince, jester, long lost son now coming into my own
Like I said I'm the king of the mountain and don't you go forgetting
Remind mommy and daddy that the time of me being a slave is over
No I don't miss you and you'll never get your money back
I've burned through it, I literally set the greenbacks on fire
I'm the master now and I know you can feel it
Fall down on both knees and beg for forgiveness
And as the blade falls I'll smile and say
Flesh of my flesh and blood of my blood
I never knew you
See you in hell mother fuckers

Hi Mom

One more thought in the night before the light begins to fade
You fucking left me
Sitting on the kitchen chair
I can still see that stare on your face
Looking off into fucking space
Couldn't believe that you left it to a little kid to revive you
You stopped loving me to protect yourself
What kind of shit is that bitch?
You left a child to raise himself
And suddenly you call me saying you missed me
I missed you my whole life
I screamed for you and you never came
You screamed at dad and ran out the house
We asked him
DADDY DADDY WHEN IS MOMMY COMING BACK?
Just a push back and told get upstairs I don't care
Never knew if you would come home
Fighting back fears that you were fucking other guys
You know what it's like to be 5 and carry the weight of your mothers affair?
I hope it's true
I hope that one day it comes out
Just another reason for me to hate you more
This writing flows like blood like when I used to hide in the closet
Beating my head in the corner breaking my skull on plaster walls
Hoping for my brains to fall out so I could end it all
This is taking me back to when I used to burn with rage
The fire has rekindled and I'm ready to unload
Now a grown man sitting in another mans house
Looking at the walls wondering
What does it mean, how do I follow these signs?
You tell me you love me but where was that before?
Where was it when I needed it?
Where was it for that little boy that needed his mom to make his boo boo's better?
You left me to die bitch so why the fuck did you have me?
I was not born to be a slave but it seems like you only wanted me for my muscle
Do this do that and read my fucking mind
How was I to know that being your child included being telepathic?
I could never read your mind even worse figure out my own
The look on your face you've passed on the me
No emotions, no cares, shutting the world out to keep myself safe
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree now do it momma?
How I wish that the ghost of my anxieties would have taken flight
Come down from the ceiling to kill me
Spread me out naked on the floor
Drowned me in motor oil all for your enjoyment
Maybe then you would have gotten what you wanted out of me
The son of yours to be so far away that YOU couldn't be hurt by him
You never stood up for me and never gave a crap
So what the fuck am I supposed to say when you expect an I love you back?
It makes me sad and I say it with a tear but burn in hell mom
I don't love you anymore because you aren't good for me

Never Gonna Call You Daddy

There was a time when I looked up to you
I wanted your affection
I wanted to know more than anything else that you loved me
But life will never be like that again
How you can bitch and moan
I'm your son you bastard
How is it that I hold in every word told to that little boy?
Remember that day you picked me up to throw me?
Flying through the air and landing on my head
Remember when you told me that bad things follow me?
Releasing demons to chew on me
You broke my heart into a million pieces
You were my father but now you don't mean shit to me
Never knew why she always pulled away from you
Now as an adult it all makes sense
You poured out what she hated
Wrath on a baby, you feed him to the fires of molech
All so you could be number one but damn that backfired
Only echos are left in a house we no long own
Because of your sin of greed you had all you would ever need but you will never have me
I am the son that got away
You spent my inheritance so I ran away
Left the shelter of the covered wagons
Venturing out into the wilderness on my own
Now I hear knocks on the door asking for money you'll never get back
Giving with the attitude that I some how owe you
Motherfucker I was the miracle the best thing to ever happen
But what the fuck am I thinking
You had forsaken your other children why shouldn't you do the same to me
Don't ever tell me that you fucking love me!
Held up at the tip of a barrel
Hot metal burned the mark of the beast into my temples
You brought fear into a home that needed nothing but you fucking packing up and leaving
Maybe it would have been better in the end
But who knows those days are over
And just because you got that bitch ass daughter back up north kissing your ass
Don't think that I am gonna bend over and say please daddy forgive me
The daddy days are over now I'm the godfather
Holding motherfuckers at ransom and I don't even need a gun
Knives and machetes are useless
Everyone knows that I'm scarier then any nightmares you could dream of
Night terrors gave the little baby seizures
Perhaps that little boy knew that it was better to check out than be your son
Should have murdered you that night I heard you fucking my mom
Wouldn't stop until you had your fix and all I wanted was to kill myself
Strangle myself in my sleep hearing the bed in the next room creak
Never had I ever wanted the walls to fall on me quicker
Let the creature on the wall come down to devour me
I felt that it was at the time that you consecrated a marriage by rapping a kid
Fuck that shit, was it all of this that I grew up hating myself
You'll never be my father after this session that I now reminisce
Calling back dark memories in the night as a man on the brink of himself
Teetering on greatness I made this life myself
Evil deeds followed by Jesus forgive me
Tonight I take the life of the man that should have never sired me    

My Vows

Addy, I’m going to try my best to explain to you in words the love I have for you and the promises that I pledge to uphold for the rest of my life as I state them before God and man.

I remember the first day we met like it was yesterday. You had your hair up, and a black Fullerton college shirt on, but what you wore the best that day was your smile. Next to meeting Jesus that was the best day of my life. I loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you. I heard the Lord speak to me that day as we sat in the Rainforest Café say that not only were you going to be my girlfriend but that you were going to be my wife, but I didn’t want to tell you all that at once and freak you out. On that day you became my better half and I’ve never been better.

We are the perfect pair. We share a sense of humor, a thirst for knowledge, and above all else an undying desire to see Christ made famous in the world. Your desire for more of Him mesmerizes me and this is what I love most about you.

I know that I am difficult to deal with sometimes, and it is because of this that I can’t thank you enough for standing with me in all my endeavors, and promising to continue to stand with me as you take my hand in marriage today. You are the girl of my dreams and I know that God pulled you out of my dreams, formed you better than I could have ever imagined, and then delivered you to me as a gift of His grace. Every day you remind me that His grace for us is beyond measure.

Jesus says that we shouldn’t swear by anything but instead let our yes be yes and our no be no, so now I would like to let you know all the yes’s and no’s that I plan to keep with you.

Yes I will always love you

Yes I will always protect you

Yes I will always be the arms that hold you up

And yes I will always lead you deeper into the arms of God

No I will never leave you

No I will never stop loving you

No I will never give up on us

And no I will never find anyone better than you

I don’t believe that a person is truly made in the image of God until they are united as one with the person God has made for them, and I wouldn’t want to be one with anyone else but you. I love you and I can’t wait for our adventure to continue as husband and wife.