A Different View Of Things

Never have I been so confused
Conflicted I confided in people that I had grown to hate
For years this was all about them
Nothing I did would ease me off
Going back time and again
To see me off that rock took time but I made the leap
And in the storm I found myself
Hand in hand with beauty
All I live for is to see her through
Stumbling back to things I don't understand
They offer advice and love and pour out their wealth
Once I was at their expense and now I am as their prince
What do I do with it you will sit and ask
But for the first time in so long I cannot think
I have no answer
Hearing voices that say it is all so different
Being in the midst of the battle
Makes you look at everything as if it was more harsh
Though my world is already so warped
How could it go and get so much worse?
I don't know how to be what I'm asked to be
Yet I do it without question
Looking for no payment
For once when the monsters called
Voices from the past the used to be used for death
I turned them down seeing the tears of my beloved
In a future that would be ruined
Even if it was a just kill, a righteous war, an act of mercy
Fuck! I can't think and there is no answer in the sky
Lost lost lost
A view from a world that I do not understand
Seeing through the eyes of someone with a softer perception
The spirit is willing but the flesh is unsure
Overtaking me that red demon that could silence them all
Now has to lay in a frozen state way back in a realm I can no longer access
Fate seems to have me upon a different path
But I feel like I'm eating myself alive
Wasting away, I disappear into oblivion
For what cost is what the wise will one day ask
The answer in the distance will be just as much of a question as they ask
No one no one was able to give account
Answers could not be conjured in the dark
Just tell me what do to for once make it easy
I've fallen to my knees and humbly plead 
Take this rage in my heart and use it for what is right
This is something beyond what can be fought
But in the end it will be just like the start
I feel a doom coming and there is no stopping it
Who knew that it would all come to this

Polish

You can never hide within your past
I know everything that makes you tick
And I will use it against you
To prophecy doom and break your soul
Stand still and look in my eyes
Do you see me backing up, no you fucking don't
Because I am the annihilator and I control whether you breathe or not
Polish the silver and dust off the lamps
No light will betray my shadow
I am the epitome of darkness and I want your death
Devour everything that you think will make you sweet
The taste could be the least of what I give a fuck about
You can't wash away your sins that fast
No amount of cleaning off dirty footprints will grant you from evading the hate
I saw you in the spirit
I saw you sacrifice yourself and sign your name in blood
You are mine now and in my kingdom there is no getting out
As a child you ran from man to man
Trying to find the love that you would never have
At home there was abuse
Beaten and bruised you fought back only to become an outcast
There was a hope for you
You could have turned that hatred to fuel to make a better place
But you didn't, you quit, and everyone fucking knows it
I saw you in the bathroom, just a young girl
Hovering over the tub with an old hanger in your hand
You made a mistake and a life was made but that would have ended yours
So you took the easy way out and let murder into your heart
And I was there for every moment of it
Eating it up, feasting off the blood that poured from your loins
The destroyer was there watching you from the mirror
As the little girl became a witch, altering the heart and path of God
I laughed and laughed as I saw the tears fall from fear and pain
You brought this all on yourself
You tried to run, you tried to hide, and you ran right into the arms of ignorant disease
Trapping you forever in a home that you could not clean enough because your filth was everywhere
There is no right that you can do to turn the scale in your favor
No amount of righteous work that will out due the child you pulled apart
And the hurt was so big that you could never look at yourself
You let healing slip by and you take it out on everyone else
But today I stand as the door that you must go through
And there is no getting through me
Not today and not ever
You infanticide will torture your mind forever and I will be the reminder
You could abort the child but never the searing pain
I know your ways and the witchcraft that you worship
Yet you forget that I am the antidote and nothing you do will work
All hell bows to me as king and if for a fucking moment you think that your thanks makes things alright
You are poorly mistaken, I have found my place in the world below
Let me reserve a seat for you to take
I'll shine it up real nice, up close to the shrine of evil you decorated yourself
There will be a day that I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next
And I will skull fuck you until your neck breaks and decapitation takes place
You are worthless and no price paid will save you
You're forever mine bitch and watching you suffer does nothing but appease me
And how I love to see you dying and with everyone watching I will eat off your corpse
Try to hide that fucker, go ahead and try

Nothing Comes Easy

There is a way that seems right to a man
And this is mine
I saw Satan fall like lightning, landing  on the living room floor
The darkest of all things before me
Susceptible to my blows I could end it all now
But for the love of God I am restrained
How can I let this monster live?
Forcing me to bend and contort to forms I do not recognize
No one tells me how to live anymore
No one can make me bow
No one can make me kneel
Terror stricken eyes used to stare back at me
And my enemies outnumbered the stars in the sky
Yet they all feared me
I tore through them all
Child after child I sacrificed them on the alter of my ego
Growing and building it exploded in a show of hubris
That was my downfall, that was my demise
But I got up and became something that could be loved
Now I will not have it taken all away
Crimson veins turn white as the old chill returns
It is more than just a simple reminisce
Walking back to the gravestone and digging up the grave
Unveil the corpse of that old man and let me put him on again
Is this what it will take to get past this new challenger? 
I will never be undone I will never leave
Even if it means that I will stain these hands with blood again
Throw me in jail and lose the key to forgotten thoughts
Let me rot and transform into nothing but a pile of frail skin
Drop me in the abyss I don't care as long as I win
This will not be the end of me as long as I can breath
But for fucks sake let me just get one good grip around your neck
Let me make the dark disappear just this once let me make it easy
They tell me don't even utter the thoughts
Yet they don't see what I have to go through
A trek through Hell, 5 years going on eternity
Those monsters aren't so far away
That man is just one button away
Flip the switch you fucking bitch I fucking dare you!

Shambles

Clamoring clematises, what has my world come to?
So much working the machine is oiled and spinning
Look ahead and see the future
Everything lies in shambles and the carnage reaches through the wormhole
Grabbing back at me after I've run so far away
Nothing ever good comes of this so why do I do this?
Stuck in limbo the lingo remains the same old filth
Generic and geriatric what is new has been old hat forever
Born of a new fire and a hot zeal
Set the seal upon the letter and rehash old wounds
Suddenly I can remember so many things that I blacked out
Only to wake in cold sweats remembering back to what I fought so hard that I should only hold as forgot
The saw is the law and I hear it grinding in the distance
Rails run off the road and back towards my eyes
This new era of corruption has tangible signs of the old
Must the world end like it has always been
Sick children lining the streets with laments to shut heavens
Mercy seats no longer hold the feet of enthroned powers
Divinity seems to stop and take a look back
Revealing that who were praying to all this time was a demon in priestly robes
Light the incenses of sacrilege and fall under the power of the black mass
This is not me and it never was
I was a fighter and now I spew help to the wretched
What has my life become that the darkness is clearing and I no longer have the conscious left to kill?
Soft is all, I've become a little soft
But to take in the widow and the orphan
Never before have I shown this type of philanthropy
Yet I feel it calling like the smoke from a distant inferno
Everything will burn up and I'll go back to nothing
Fears take hold and the chains return
How I had to fight to let these things go
Worried for the first time ever and trying so hard to not to be a fuck up
All the ancient internalized words haunt my thoughts
Maybe this is why I am remembering
Because the curse really isn't lifted and I'm still stuck
Waking up in hell again at least I gave it shot
Big decisions lay just beyond the horizon  
What does it take to overcome and this I'll never know
It was all worth trying let's see if someone can make sense of this rambling

Revolution

When you see the lost children with black circles under their eyes
They will look back and sing you lullabies
Praise will shine forth like the sun as they march on
You see mere infants but I see an army
Ready to rise up and put the old men to rest
A spiritual euthanasia if you will, the passing of the torch
Not by love but by force
We will steal the spotlight and turn what you knew to ash
You will die with your ways and every mention of your name
Whispered in the dark in the cloak of shadow
It will be as a nightmare told in the day to bring fear
This is our revolution
This is where we call fire down
No longer will the spirit of the serpent challenge our hand
We will take the banner and with lifted hands rejoice
The giant is dead and dogs have devoured its flesh
Now stand in awe as the ground shakes as we move
From glory to glory, victory over everything
Your upside down world will be turned up right
These children you spit on have become the end you feared
Speaking hatred sowed bitter seeds now blossoming
Hard shells ready to deny all and count the cost
Seeing that life is worth more than you made it
Your death is imminent and I smell the earth that has been dug to cover your corpse

Daredevil

Daredevil, the art in prime time to understand the dilemma
Babies crying and mothers dying and all in a day when she was older than my brother
Free exposure to pleasure but without responsibility
Never took the time for explanation in the form of simple gestures
Life lived through the mind of a man caged and now that he's out you want compassion?
Where does it stem from, the root of a man plucked from the ground only a sapling?
How do I know the difference between innuendo and the liar dressed incognito?
Paint the scene on the glass and let the light push past until retinas burn like incinerated garbage  
Systematic extinction through execution over time the truth become satire and we laugh
But I had to fight my way through the maze and mirage just to be able to set foot outside
And you laughed and pointed and told me it was unfair and that I had to believe but I want nothing of that
I am that man born blind and when asked whose sin caused the disease it was foretold that it was mine
Yet not from the past or even from the future
It was destined in eternity past that I would be brought down with the teeth and claws of the underworld
Only to be spit back up and embrace my calling as the assassin of God
Given two hands to fight with no one could have seen that the hottest fire came from my tongue
Muay thai style I used feet and elbows with falling knees to end the progression of lies that were spoken
I am not a violent man by any means but in times like these,
It's kill or be killed and judgement implies all and I mean everything
Step to me wrong or look at me wrong your face is in the pavement and I'll never be wrong
Canvas smeared like a preteen on her first cycle
Point blank the gun goes off and your life is over the line stops on the period dot
I had to be courageous just to take a look over the edge
Now I fly through night skies in dreams of realities I made up for myself
Seeing all things when I used to only see oblivion
My end and your end left to rot in the ground with worms and goblins
Take to the streets in the darkest corners of my mind and light it all on fire
Revolt and take back what is mine and claim it as ours and raise the victory banner high
Up and up we go and where we stop only the mind can know
The end of the universe the words still echo that say we are loved
But here we just rely on the spinning of this distorted orbit to feel our way through
Take the chance and redeem the plan and when it all looks good tear it down and do it again
Pleasure in the face that my perfection is keeping this city sane
Though will my bane become the fact that I can't get past the boundaries I set to keep my life in check?
I am who I am and that's all that I am but I must be who I see in the dark with closed eyes
A revolutionary on the streets with dark buildings shooting up all around
Terrorized by shooters all around in the hollows that are found from the missing pieces of childhood
It doesn't make sense but I see so clearly that there is no sense to be had
I run with a hooded cloak and bandana around my mouth through the night with Molotov gripped tight
Moral decay in exchange for the voices to be shut out, how can I survive these nights in anguish and heat?
Becoming the thing that I never thought I could see take shape
The art of murder for self preservation, becoming the Daredevil to leave the past behind
It is the end of it all and to that I sit with a smile, lean back and say goodnight

Dios del Sol

I hold to the hope that this dream comes forth
Behind my eyes lies a world that I wish all could see
Maybe then all those that decided that they could fuck with me would know
They picked the wrong man, the wrong time, and the unwisest of ploys
I am the death that comes on swift wings
To rape the life from you as you have entered the world of my visions
Wings spread wide to lock out the light as you sit sweltering under my wrath
I burn with a deep desire for revenge
That you will be lit at the stake of my vengeance alive
I hope to see you fucking die
But not before I crush the life out of you as your throat rest beneath my heel
In this place I make the rules
Down here I'm God
I will be the one who causes the sun to rise and set
And in this world there is no sun because I am the light-harbinger
The keys of death and Hyades are hung on my belt
You will burn under me and there is no escaping
Blackened buildings fill the skyline
My visions involve smoke and debris but no cries to be heard  
The land is quiet for all voices have been silenced
I stand atop the mountains and look down at my devastation
My rays reach the the ground and bounce to the clouds
But only to enhance the blood on the ground and the darkness in my heart
The heat is so extreme but the cold is deafening
Contrast formed in the depths of the crucible that was my inner turmoil
Sword and shield became as much a part of me as my own beating heart
And the blood pumped through iron veins turned black from the poison I injected
All so that the rage that you now have seen could be brought out in epic theatrics
Dig deep as you will only find relief six feet from the surface you once made your dwelling place
Smell the disease that you caused when you let forth the beast
The world has spawned a sickness and I am the cure
Born into the darkness which the most vile have only adopted but alas it has always been mine
Black hole sun burns the ground to nothing and to nothing it will all go
Dark days are ahead my friends
Come into the light of destiny and hold close the facts
I am the god of the sun and there is no turning back

Cold Heart Filled With Hate

Look into the eyes of the dead one
Sit across from the devil and never even know it
Horns not of the head but of the mouth
Yet the fangs and claws could never disappear so quick
From the blackness I came, and you think that goes away?
I grabbed all who stood against me and devoured
And you sit and wonder how I come off as cold
What would you rather have,
The heat of rage baring down on you like hell flipped upside down
Or the cold that can look you dead in the eyes and steal your soul?
Sever your tongue if you think that you can speak against me
Lie after lie now you lay down in a grave covered in lye
Burn for me and tell me that the freedom I've found has come so easy
Without pain or blood or regret or responsibility
I arose from ashes of a burning childhood to find my relief
I took hold of the horns of Satan and made them my own
I became the conqueror that bares witness to the fact that war is hell
And I am the god of war that descends on you with a thousand nations of the damned
Call up your best men at arms and let them look upon their future
Swords clashing in the heavenly realms tell the story that I have come for blood
My have the tides turned now that they run red
Break the seal and the cycle and release the dead to consume the living
Let me lead them as their general in disarray and demise
I have filled this heart with hate to make it a stone
In order that I will never go back to being that child
That had it ripped out and stepped on
Told I was nothing and spit on and made to believe
That my ship had sailed and I was left alone
And raised alone I took up the cauldron of war
Becoming a child of the dark and a student of its deeds
I believed that I was a monster so the monster is what I have become
You spoil the undeserving and the sons of kings are left to starve
Well I won't have that not as long as I have breath in these lungs
I will not have my soul returned to ruin after it took me years to climb out of that grave
Now I hold the keys of power and I bring the pain
So tell me again why people don't like me and fancy me cold and removed
Tell me again the excuse they use for looking once and assuming they know
Have they been at the gates of hell and brought back to life to have it all melt away?
How can they judge the one who has faced judgement and fought it back to win
To roll the stone away and come out of the grave in a power that came from above
How the fuck do they think they know me and tell me why it matters
I will shit on the graves of all mankind if only just to make me feel better
I live for me now and no one else will take it
I've had the life smashed out of me before and no one will ever get to take it again
I have filled this heart with cold hard death and its no wonder my face is harsh
Let me spew my filth into the ears of them who have them to hear
Breaking the hearts of generations to come with my story
Don't ever tell me what they think of me because they'll only turn up dead
And by my hand or by my curse it doesn't matter because I'll send them all straight to hell

Machine Gun Kelly

And hear I come blazing again on fire from the hot rage
Got a domain name now and it's my name to know
No one else can know and no one else will know
Look through the curtains as the wind blows in the window
See me standing over a body with bloody hands
Woke up the next morning with a headache
Couldn't remember what I did the day before
Except for the note in my pants that said
"Guess what you just killed somebody"
How could I have let the demons loose
Unsolved murder front page on the internet
They're looking for me and they won't find me because it wasn't me
It was some monster that my therapists says is a character created by introspective thinking
I had to be mean I had to be ruthless because nobody loved me
I was alone as a little kid so now I sit here a rabble rouser
Making music for kids that just don't give a fuck about breathing in and out
And now you will see what it's like when the words just flow straight
So now all I want to do is blow up the world with me in it
Bobbing my head up and down with a grimace on my face because it hurts but I still fucking love it
So here I come guns blazing being the gangster your mother warned you would come
When you showed too much skin at a club attracting the wrong kind of attention
I am the devil made in the image of every evil thing that world loved and called good
As they threw it on their children calling it love but the sex was more like rape and molestation
Put me in a room with the thugs that did those things to the next generation
I was once one of those kids that cried from remorse because I hated everything about me
Now I love the heat that flies off me when I'm a rage and I'm grabbing my hair and tearing it out
I swear I can't take a shit it's all I think about and that is getting my revenge
Vengeance is mine and today I am the God made to look man made
Put the weapon in my hand and let me spray and pray and cry out for forgiveness
But not really caring if I get it or not because I want to be in hell with my enemies
Giving them more hell as they sit in flames being tortured all trying to get away from me
How did this get here
How far we've gotten from the beginning
You see how the mind gets when the focus of hate takes over
Man this has taken on a persona all its own and I'm not ready to pay for it
Let me steal what is needed to be kind of the world
Fuck that just let me be Al Capone
Sifilis tearing apart my mind maybe then I won't be able to think back on my past
I don't want to be the cage for the monsters to live in anymore
Yet here they come running down the street jumping out of strange clouds
I am the beast and I'm here to stay but damn I hate this life
Make me your enemy so you and I can tear it all apart
For fucks sake give me a break I wish for once I could write something nice
But that's not me and everyone knows that
Peace out it's too late to get all this emotion fired up

No Title

Calm down and come back
Trying a new thought experiment
Write just what comes up with no thought
No title to put my mind on a track
I was going to write something but I forget
So I figured that I would just let the words flow
Probably won't be the best thing I have ever wrote
No words come yet the rhyme still stays in my head
Nothing comes and I'm trying to fight off the blank stare
Sometimes I just have to stop and think
Battling my way out of the white room
Just trying to think for once without some kind of bait
And it makes me really stop and think
What do I really have going on up there?
Where does it go and what does it mean?
Totally free styling right now and that's alright
Should I write another scathing review of my life,
Beating down mommy and daddy,
Or about some bitch that stabbed me in the back?
Nothing makes me more happy than being mad and blistering the keyboard
Letting out all my hate on a digital template
Writing till my fingers bleed like hurry up and give me a tampon to cauterize this thing
Laughing at how out there and grotesque my mind can really be
Maybe I should finish this beer and hit the sheets
Or maybe I should just keep going and see what comes
Ghosts ghosts and more ghosts
Vile villains fill the space and the trauma of my life is relived
My memories are like a disease and I can't help but spread the virus
I'm not just certain I'm positive that I'm sick and there's no coming back
Man this shit is going nowhere and the journey I'm on I can't afford to be going backwards
Turn it off I'm done good night folks time to die
That last line really made me laugh
Okay this is it I'm out

Memories Replayed in Shadows

Looking back over my life and I see a line formed in the sand
Step over to the current or go back in time on the inside and live it all out one more time
Again and again I remember falling
Being a little kid locking myself away in a closet
Called myself the spawn of Satan and hating everything that came out of me
But I remember seeing angels back in those days
Trying so hard to attach myself to them just so I could get through
Dilemmas arose every time another one of you walked out on me
Or how many times I should have made a first move
And you moved on past so quick right into the arms of some other prick
I remember being a rowdy teen riding a bike through dark streets
Music blaring in my ears, angry and intense I was set to kill
But I only cared about getting what I had to get
Another move and another step closer to doing things I should have never seen
Yet I can't help but think as I look back how different it would have been
If I would have just opened up but it was too hard
I came with too much self loathing, too much defeat, too little respect
Now I lay in freezing sheets sweating from the heat thinking back
I remember this one chick loved me but I couldn't say it back I was too afraid
She was the best thing a little boy could ask for yet I couldn't find the strength for commitment
Maybe I was just too immature, maybe it was a good thing that you fell out of sight
Still I find myself thinking of you and about what you're doing even if you're married
I remember my first real girlfriend and how she fucking walked out on me
I held her so high up in the sky and she dropped the weight of the world on me with the death of her mommy
I was just a kid what did I even know
Even dropped out of high school because I couldn't take the pain of it all
I thought she was my ticket out of all the garbage
Instead she just added to it like weights on the rack
I remember the girl that was so dark and brooding and how she used to hit me
Part of me liked it for the attention it gained to my ego
But how many times I wanted to turn around and smack the fuck out of that bitch
Still loved her though even though she drove me crazy
Walked out of my life when the worst thing that ever happened to me walked in
Older girl telling little old me that she loved me
Blonde hair and rocking body all I knew was that it was like walking in a dream
Year after year went by and all I saw was the huge decline
Morals went out the window and you put yourself in a situation that almost landed me in jail
Could have killed that motherfucker that raped you but I didn't and took you back
Even after you lied to me about it and fucked some punk because you were out of your mind
Now you've got a kid that was almost mine with an old man that you were fucking when I wasn't looking
And all that time there was a great girl that I saw looking at me
Beautiful in every way but I never made a move because I actually respected you
Bitch now she's married to some other dude and I even DJ'ed the wedding
How hard it was to see her dancing with some man that I knew wasn't right for her
Even with my girl at the time I couldn't help but think to what it would have been like
You and I together, but at least I see that you're happy so for that I'm kind of glad
But I have a great girl now and she's my best friend
Though it doesn't help me forget all the little flings that took place
Lunch break back in 08 and this chick that I thought I liked came and poured soda on my feet
Or what about that one girl that held my hand before she dropped me like a hot plate
All due to being afraid of her daddy, little did she know I would have knocked his old ass out
Steal her away from all her bad dreams and been the savior she always needed
That's not even mentioning the girl that used to call me from up north
Wanting so bad to escape her family she even sent me naked pictures to sway me to get her
Or what about that crazy bitch that calls me up thinking that my myspace pictures were cute
Her brother scams me telling me he's the cops saying she's been upducted
Scared the fuck out of me I thought I had a court date somewhere out of state
I was gonna run from the judge but then it turns out I was just gonna have to kill the bastard
Calls me saying it was all fake and then drops off the planet
Gets back at me six months later telling me she's pregnant and that she wishes I was the daddy
How many times I got out of tough situations and all thanks to God
Almost to thirty and I still couldn't handle a kid
But still I hear them and their fake fucking words in my dreams and I wake up screaming
How dare you say you love me when you wouldn't do shit about it
Went to the other side and met a good girl but she was so good she couldn't have a good time
Broke her heart and her mommy came running up mad and all upset
Honestly back then I didn't give a fuck about it but how quick things would change
I remember this one little girl that wouldn't kiss me because I was with the aforementioned chick
She was more respectful than I was but I didn't care getting it in was all that mattered
So hungry for love I saw her years later and she looked like shit
Glad I escaped another close call I even had to laugh at the younger me
Can't believe I almost got scammed again
Or how about the time the girl that was on heroin tried to get at me
I remember thanking God that my luck was finally gonna change
But she never called back and when I heard the news I cried a sigh of relief
Just like the girl that called me saying I was marriage material yet wouldn't answer my calls
If you didn't like me you just should have said it bitch
You wouldn't have been the first girl to let me down
Mommy put me down as a baby and never came back to get me
My heart was hard back then so it would have been nothing new
Man I can't help but think where is all this coming from
Bridging the old me with the new me I can't believe all of this
I thought it was gone, lost to the fires of my rage that burned my mind down
The haunting of my past, will they ever leave me?
I'm starting to see them all everywhere and if they only took shape I would tell them
I'm sorry for what I did to you but fuck off I'm my own man now
So I rebuke these shadows now get the fuck out of my life