Sneak into your house
I warm fire glows in the furnance
Coming down the chimney
Covered in ash turned black like the feet of frostbite victims
This Grinch doesn't want to steal your Christmas
He has come instead to kill you and your family
Murder steal rape pillage
A pirates life for me on this night the eve we celebrate the son of God
And only he can save you from me
I've taken a whole lot of pills and washed them down with a pack of adult beverages
Mescaline and speed mix it up in a bottle and swallow it with some PCP
I'm a fucking freight train now storming through your living room
Swords and knives killing wives bashing in brains of husbands and children
Burning houses down in the middle of the night
Told the police it was just to stay warm and to watch the pretty colors
You thought just because I was white that I didn't roll hard
Gangsters with guns and clubs, bayonets and fish hooks hooked to boots
You think I don't know about that kind of life
I'm the devil and I swear by my own name murder because that's my middle initial
All I want to do is wake up and burn the world down
No manifesto I belong to the small group
That wants nothing more than to watch the world crumble for no reason
But it has to start somewhere
And how bout that this is the only thing that I'm fucking good at
Kill of be killed isn't the mindset that I live through
It's kill and kill more pile up the bodies a billion deep
Instinct set to slash anything that I see moving
First I'll start in your house before I move through the rest of the block
There is the sound of weeping as the proverbial mother cries out
Lost one son to the crack and the other to multiple gunshot wounds
I am not gonna go out like a pussy and fire at you from a moving car
I'm gonna go up on your porch and kick in the door
Pull out pointed fingers and make fake sound effects just pretending to kill you
All before Jim Bowie makes an appearance
Come at me with your heat but just know this I don't believe in dying
Only murder and you'll never be able to swing the blade hard enough to cut my veins open
I am the masked killer on the loose coming in your children's window
So sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite
Because the man under the bed is me and yes I am a monster who is ready to feed
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Black Christmas
Again I'm like a baby left at the fire station
Cold and alone you left me
Everyone has a family but I don't got one
They all thought that they knew better
Sat in a room full of strange faces
Watched them open gifts and I got nothing
Must be selfish just to want love
But I guess not
I can't even get what I most desire
Another Christmas in the trenches
Left without even a baby brother to sit and sing a carol
Brings me back to that first Christmas after you left 2 months earlier
Woke up to nothing, no gifts, no presents
Just chilled to the bone alone in an Indian families garage
Carpet on the floor dark and filthy
And I remember mailing you a box full of goodies
But shit this time around no one wanted to wait around
Had to go see your fuck up of a daughter
Not even a call on Christmas Eve to see how I was doing
Don't give a fuck that I'm the greatest thing you ever did
Made me and abandoned me
Seems like you did that shit on the same day
Why was I born into greatness and you can't deny it
Yet you won't even look my way
I got my girls daddy telling me he is going to give me all of his money
Told me he wants to help us with the wedding
And after all the calls and everything we've done for you
You don't even give a congratulations call or card or shit
Give me money like you're getting your teeth pulled
No novacane just rusty needles sticking your gums
Rolling in my grave now the sun burns flesh off because it ain't a holy day for this soul
You left me alone and on Christmas day at that
How the fuck can you say that you love me
Anything I would have given to be back in your good graces
But fuck that now all I care about is that I get mine
Yet for the life of me I can't figure out how to do that
Broke as fuck it's a joke when I look into my bank account
And you used to bitch and moan about having nothing left for us
Then you go and tell me that you used to make 2000 bucks a week
What the fuck kind of life did you give me with all of that?
Fucking nothing so here let me pay you back
Both middle fingers up when I do the math I see that that's almost 100000 a year
Then you got a tax return for all the goodwill you had given throughout the 365 you neglected my ass
Just a little kid with a dream of being something
But you had to shoot me down and crush everything I ever wanted
No support and no love and now you're trying to come around
Fuck that shit bitch you will never be what you had the chance to be
Those days are over mother fuckers
This is just another black Christmas cold and alone with nothing to show for it
Tell me to give and I'll get back
Problem is I don't believe in a God who works like that
Keep your riches and your money and I'll be the one standing in glory
I do it for me and the ones I love
And you'll never see a penny of what I make as I bestow it on the poor
My children will never know the pain that their daddy carries
Not having a family will never come about
I will always be there loving on them
And God knows you'll never see them they won't even know your names
The family tree begins with me your branches fell off dead
Burned to the ground it's starting fresh today
You left your son on Christmas and now he'll never make his way home
That plot was sold along with your tombstones
So tonight when the ghost of Christmas pasts come for a visit
I hope you shit your pants and your eyes start to bleed
They'll show you that it's too late to fix the life you fucked up
You'll see that your saint of a son is a devil waiting on blood orgies
I never got what I wanted so now you'll get what you never wanted
Merry Christmas mother fuckers your son is now dead to everything
Cold and alone you left me
Everyone has a family but I don't got one
They all thought that they knew better
Sat in a room full of strange faces
Watched them open gifts and I got nothing
Must be selfish just to want love
But I guess not
I can't even get what I most desire
Another Christmas in the trenches
Left without even a baby brother to sit and sing a carol
Brings me back to that first Christmas after you left 2 months earlier
Woke up to nothing, no gifts, no presents
Just chilled to the bone alone in an Indian families garage
Carpet on the floor dark and filthy
And I remember mailing you a box full of goodies
But shit this time around no one wanted to wait around
Had to go see your fuck up of a daughter
Not even a call on Christmas Eve to see how I was doing
Don't give a fuck that I'm the greatest thing you ever did
Made me and abandoned me
Seems like you did that shit on the same day
Why was I born into greatness and you can't deny it
Yet you won't even look my way
I got my girls daddy telling me he is going to give me all of his money
Told me he wants to help us with the wedding
And after all the calls and everything we've done for you
You don't even give a congratulations call or card or shit
Give me money like you're getting your teeth pulled
No novacane just rusty needles sticking your gums
Rolling in my grave now the sun burns flesh off because it ain't a holy day for this soul
You left me alone and on Christmas day at that
How the fuck can you say that you love me
Anything I would have given to be back in your good graces
But fuck that now all I care about is that I get mine
Yet for the life of me I can't figure out how to do that
Broke as fuck it's a joke when I look into my bank account
And you used to bitch and moan about having nothing left for us
Then you go and tell me that you used to make 2000 bucks a week
What the fuck kind of life did you give me with all of that?
Fucking nothing so here let me pay you back
Both middle fingers up when I do the math I see that that's almost 100000 a year
Then you got a tax return for all the goodwill you had given throughout the 365 you neglected my ass
Just a little kid with a dream of being something
But you had to shoot me down and crush everything I ever wanted
No support and no love and now you're trying to come around
Fuck that shit bitch you will never be what you had the chance to be
Those days are over mother fuckers
This is just another black Christmas cold and alone with nothing to show for it
Tell me to give and I'll get back
Problem is I don't believe in a God who works like that
Keep your riches and your money and I'll be the one standing in glory
I do it for me and the ones I love
And you'll never see a penny of what I make as I bestow it on the poor
My children will never know the pain that their daddy carries
Not having a family will never come about
I will always be there loving on them
And God knows you'll never see them they won't even know your names
The family tree begins with me your branches fell off dead
Burned to the ground it's starting fresh today
You left your son on Christmas and now he'll never make his way home
That plot was sold along with your tombstones
So tonight when the ghost of Christmas pasts come for a visit
I hope you shit your pants and your eyes start to bleed
They'll show you that it's too late to fix the life you fucked up
You'll see that your saint of a son is a devil waiting on blood orgies
I never got what I wanted so now you'll get what you never wanted
Merry Christmas mother fuckers your son is now dead to everything
Monday, December 9, 2013
Tis The Season
It doesn't feel like Christmas and I don't know why
Maybe because it isn't cold enough
I won't have you to look me up and down and scoff
Maybe because I won't get any gifts
I literally won't have to open a box of disappointments
Maybe because I don't see you acting strange
Knowing now why all those holidays turned into blood baths
You didn't want to even be around us
Sometimes I wished that you never came home from work
Got all these emotions in this season of giving
But for the life of me all I want to give you
Is a big FUCK YOU MOTHER FUCKER WITH TWO MIDDLE FINGERS
Maybe this year I'll give you your .38 back
One bullet at a time bastard
Just like the arrows you used to fire at me
Get a little kid to cry
Yes sir that's what makes you man
Good job you got your family to hate you
Have a happy new year
Alone in a retirement home
Fireworks go off but suddenly a rush of blood to the back of your neck
It's the bullet hole in the back of your head leaking
I stole your .40 caliber dad
Here I want to give it back
The exit wound blew out your face
So now I'll never be able to tell you that I'm sorry
The way you used to look in my eyes and tell me lies
This is a crazy Christmas sermon ladies and gentlemen
Tonight I stand before you on this holiest of evenings
A confessed madman and straight up killer
Maybe this is why it doesn't feel like Christmas anymore
Maybe for the first time I feel like I'm in control
Or maybe it's because I'm gonna spend 2014 behind iron bars
Who knows lets see how December plays out
Tis the season to see your family bleed
Get ready everybody the monsters are out to play
Maybe because it isn't cold enough
I won't have you to look me up and down and scoff
Maybe because I won't get any gifts
I literally won't have to open a box of disappointments
Maybe because I don't see you acting strange
Knowing now why all those holidays turned into blood baths
You didn't want to even be around us
Sometimes I wished that you never came home from work
Got all these emotions in this season of giving
But for the life of me all I want to give you
Is a big FUCK YOU MOTHER FUCKER WITH TWO MIDDLE FINGERS
Maybe this year I'll give you your .38 back
One bullet at a time bastard
Just like the arrows you used to fire at me
Get a little kid to cry
Yes sir that's what makes you man
Good job you got your family to hate you
Have a happy new year
Alone in a retirement home
Fireworks go off but suddenly a rush of blood to the back of your neck
It's the bullet hole in the back of your head leaking
I stole your .40 caliber dad
Here I want to give it back
The exit wound blew out your face
So now I'll never be able to tell you that I'm sorry
The way you used to look in my eyes and tell me lies
This is a crazy Christmas sermon ladies and gentlemen
Tonight I stand before you on this holiest of evenings
A confessed madman and straight up killer
Maybe this is why it doesn't feel like Christmas anymore
Maybe for the first time I feel like I'm in control
Or maybe it's because I'm gonna spend 2014 behind iron bars
Who knows lets see how December plays out
Tis the season to see your family bleed
Get ready everybody the monsters are out to play
The Feeling of Holding Secrets
Can't help but cry when I see those commericals
Dogs that have been beat and kids that sleep with distended bellies
But who the fuck cries for me?
All I do is give of myself
And whenever I need the time to lay down
I get a shit storm of verbal assaults
Man I thought those days were over
Now I get it at home and from across the country
But until I collapse I swear that I'll be different
You'll never see those grand kids if I have it my way
No one will ever talk shit to them like was done to me
That man was my hero and you talk down to the dead
How fucking dare you
I dare you to say that shit to my face
I am not above hitting my pops
Slap you down like you did to my spirit
Telling my mother that I would never be tough
How do you know what tough is you coward
You ran away from your children that came before us
Left them to the fucking devil and didn't give a shit
But God knows that if it was me in that situation
I would have gone to hell and back to save my babies
But remember no one cries for me
No one knows that pain that I've been feeling
25 years of you trying to pull my life support out
Telling me to cut the cord
Well that's cute but remember when your momma died
I was there to hold you and catch all of your tears
I spoke for you because I could feel all of your feelings
But fuck that I'm just a child and you think that I know nothing
And for that you don't deserve to be forgiven
But I'll do it for fucks sake to put the ball in your court
King in mine and you'll never be invited in my house
I'll keep you our in the freezing cold
Just so you can know what it was like in those days when you had it all
And you left me with nothing
Funny how when the tables have turned it's suddenly not fair to you
Nothing was fair for me and look at me now
Still struggling but at least I have a future
You'll be dead old and alone real soon
And just when you think that they'll be at your funeral
You've awakened to find you're a ghost with no friends
Let the hype die down and find out what it was like to be a son with no rights
An heir to nothing except everything I never wanted to my last day
Give it all back I don't give a fuck
You tell me everyday about how you've spent my inheritance
That's not a joke to me it's real because I'm fucking broke
You aren't even a man because you don't bleed like I bleed
The red pours from my eyes and for you out the wallet
Pop another tablet and make the pain go away
But I hope to God your nightmares eat you alive
Remember me your son
January of 88 the day came and you lost it forever
Your salvation went out the window
Thought I was stealing your wife and look it fucking worked
She hates you and can't fucking stand you
I know things that you don't know
And I'll be glad to tell you the day I get to piss on your grave
Dogs that have been beat and kids that sleep with distended bellies
But who the fuck cries for me?
All I do is give of myself
And whenever I need the time to lay down
I get a shit storm of verbal assaults
Man I thought those days were over
Now I get it at home and from across the country
But until I collapse I swear that I'll be different
You'll never see those grand kids if I have it my way
No one will ever talk shit to them like was done to me
That man was my hero and you talk down to the dead
How fucking dare you
I dare you to say that shit to my face
I am not above hitting my pops
Slap you down like you did to my spirit
Telling my mother that I would never be tough
How do you know what tough is you coward
You ran away from your children that came before us
Left them to the fucking devil and didn't give a shit
But God knows that if it was me in that situation
I would have gone to hell and back to save my babies
But remember no one cries for me
No one knows that pain that I've been feeling
25 years of you trying to pull my life support out
Telling me to cut the cord
Well that's cute but remember when your momma died
I was there to hold you and catch all of your tears
I spoke for you because I could feel all of your feelings
But fuck that I'm just a child and you think that I know nothing
And for that you don't deserve to be forgiven
But I'll do it for fucks sake to put the ball in your court
King in mine and you'll never be invited in my house
I'll keep you our in the freezing cold
Just so you can know what it was like in those days when you had it all
And you left me with nothing
Funny how when the tables have turned it's suddenly not fair to you
Nothing was fair for me and look at me now
Still struggling but at least I have a future
You'll be dead old and alone real soon
And just when you think that they'll be at your funeral
You've awakened to find you're a ghost with no friends
Let the hype die down and find out what it was like to be a son with no rights
An heir to nothing except everything I never wanted to my last day
Give it all back I don't give a fuck
You tell me everyday about how you've spent my inheritance
That's not a joke to me it's real because I'm fucking broke
You aren't even a man because you don't bleed like I bleed
The red pours from my eyes and for you out the wallet
Pop another tablet and make the pain go away
But I hope to God your nightmares eat you alive
Remember me your son
January of 88 the day came and you lost it forever
Your salvation went out the window
Thought I was stealing your wife and look it fucking worked
She hates you and can't fucking stand you
I know things that you don't know
And I'll be glad to tell you the day I get to piss on your grave
A Week's Worth of Vile Delusions
Buzzin' like I've been smokin' joints
Don't know what to do except let this out
How can I sleep on an empty stomach
Is like asking how does someone wake up with no alarm clock
My mind is racing like when Whitney couldn't say no to crack
Cry my eyes out on the phone and for what
For you to disrespect me and the girl I love
Fuck that, how could you say that
How easily I forgot that I'm just an after thought
That I'm just the kid that you left on the old block
Everything you did I told you was retarded
Yet you wouldn't listen to wisdom
The first sign that you were a fool to being with
Daddy wasn't there and mommy didn't like it
Told me you wanted to up and leave
To tell that buster to fuck off and burn in hell
But you wouldn't and you couldn't you were never strong enough for something like that
See how many extra bars that line went?
I could have told him I could have blew the spit over the ocean through the airwaves of hate
Finally I get some truth out of you
And again I put that truth in your head
Like those pills you used to take
Spinning were the walls back in those days
Yet all I ever dream for is to go back to those days
To make those days right and rearrange the days I'm in today
But the day I care for the most is this day
And even on my best day you still have a way of making it a bad day
How many times am I gonna go back to those days
Did you think that I'm just gonna bow down and forget things
You will never admit it to me
But deep down you fuckers knew that I was right
Out of the mouth of babes came your deliverance but no one cared to see
You just up and left me to the winter
Shivering to death in a garage with no insulation
Rodents were my roommates and there was no money coming my way
I remember that first Christmas waking up to nothing
But what was wrong with that
Since I could remember I unwrapped gifts with nothing inside
No thought no care and no knowing the son you gave up
Sorry is too late but I can't stand to see you cry so I'll just say that it's ok
But it ain't nothing about this is or was or ever could be made right for me
Now when they look and see it all finally becomes clear
That I was second to everything and the reason they hate is me
If you're connected to me then this is the way it has to be
You'll have to take a back seat
Just like me when my brother hit me with the buckle and you just fucking chuckled
Took pictures of me laying on the floor black eyes and all
Telling me to stop faking it
Am I faking it now mom now that you see me holding this gun
Last letter I wrote to you I told you I was going to blow my brains out
Saw the tears then and still didn't believe you
I'm so sick and no one gives a fuck
Tired of all your bullshit and it still doesn't sink in
You fucked my life up and still can't take the blame
Apologize for what fucker you just killed your own son
There is no coming back from shit like this
I don't even know what I really want to say
I'm just blasting lines down as fast as my fingers will carry me
You will never understand the issues but that's ok
I'll just grip tighter on this knife to slash your necks with
No title can cover the topics but this piece will smoke from powder burns
I'm freezing here alone in my own hell and I can't get away from you
Calling my name in my dreams
You just don't turn it off
Thought crusader is diabolical down to his last molecule
And you made me that way how do you fucking like it?
I thought I was going to tell you how sorry I was for being such a bad son
Letting you know I've seen everything good you've done for me to keep me living
But fuck that shit the monsters call me back to the old days
Where I hated everyone and everything
First day out of the sick bed and I'm back to killing memories
Reaching deep inside my mind and carving out all the good
No light behind these eyes all I want is to be ecumenical
To you that I am the boss of every demon that lives inside me
And I've sent them on a mission to destroy everything
Maniacal until the day I die and don't plan on going any time soon
If it's the last thing I do I will fucking be the death of you
So how dare you say those things if you don't believe them
The time for games is over
See you this weekend I can't wait to kill you
Don't know what to do except let this out
How can I sleep on an empty stomach
Is like asking how does someone wake up with no alarm clock
My mind is racing like when Whitney couldn't say no to crack
Cry my eyes out on the phone and for what
For you to disrespect me and the girl I love
Fuck that, how could you say that
How easily I forgot that I'm just an after thought
That I'm just the kid that you left on the old block
Everything you did I told you was retarded
Yet you wouldn't listen to wisdom
The first sign that you were a fool to being with
Daddy wasn't there and mommy didn't like it
Told me you wanted to up and leave
To tell that buster to fuck off and burn in hell
But you wouldn't and you couldn't you were never strong enough for something like that
See how many extra bars that line went?
I could have told him I could have blew the spit over the ocean through the airwaves of hate
Finally I get some truth out of you
And again I put that truth in your head
Like those pills you used to take
Spinning were the walls back in those days
Yet all I ever dream for is to go back to those days
To make those days right and rearrange the days I'm in today
But the day I care for the most is this day
And even on my best day you still have a way of making it a bad day
How many times am I gonna go back to those days
Did you think that I'm just gonna bow down and forget things
You will never admit it to me
But deep down you fuckers knew that I was right
Out of the mouth of babes came your deliverance but no one cared to see
You just up and left me to the winter
Shivering to death in a garage with no insulation
Rodents were my roommates and there was no money coming my way
I remember that first Christmas waking up to nothing
But what was wrong with that
Since I could remember I unwrapped gifts with nothing inside
No thought no care and no knowing the son you gave up
Sorry is too late but I can't stand to see you cry so I'll just say that it's ok
But it ain't nothing about this is or was or ever could be made right for me
Now when they look and see it all finally becomes clear
That I was second to everything and the reason they hate is me
If you're connected to me then this is the way it has to be
You'll have to take a back seat
Just like me when my brother hit me with the buckle and you just fucking chuckled
Took pictures of me laying on the floor black eyes and all
Telling me to stop faking it
Am I faking it now mom now that you see me holding this gun
Last letter I wrote to you I told you I was going to blow my brains out
Saw the tears then and still didn't believe you
I'm so sick and no one gives a fuck
Tired of all your bullshit and it still doesn't sink in
You fucked my life up and still can't take the blame
Apologize for what fucker you just killed your own son
There is no coming back from shit like this
I don't even know what I really want to say
I'm just blasting lines down as fast as my fingers will carry me
You will never understand the issues but that's ok
I'll just grip tighter on this knife to slash your necks with
No title can cover the topics but this piece will smoke from powder burns
I'm freezing here alone in my own hell and I can't get away from you
Calling my name in my dreams
You just don't turn it off
Thought crusader is diabolical down to his last molecule
And you made me that way how do you fucking like it?
I thought I was going to tell you how sorry I was for being such a bad son
Letting you know I've seen everything good you've done for me to keep me living
But fuck that shit the monsters call me back to the old days
Where I hated everyone and everything
First day out of the sick bed and I'm back to killing memories
Reaching deep inside my mind and carving out all the good
No light behind these eyes all I want is to be ecumenical
To you that I am the boss of every demon that lives inside me
And I've sent them on a mission to destroy everything
Maniacal until the day I die and don't plan on going any time soon
If it's the last thing I do I will fucking be the death of you
So how dare you say those things if you don't believe them
The time for games is over
See you this weekend I can't wait to kill you
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