Black blah blee blob wind rushing past
Inner ears inside my brain filling up with waste
In the prime of existence I have nothing left
Nothing left to go on and nothing left to think
Nothing left to be thankful for and nothing left to break
Locked in a room the lights turn from on to off
Dark to light from morning till night
All damn day I am crushed under the oppressiveness of this
Nothingness that seeks to rot what was an impressive collection
Books and files that contained all life's thoughts
Fulfillment and extacy lost in the fire
And when that flame had burned itself out
There was nothing left
No ash no smoke no chard remains
Just blank like a washed out empty room
How I am even writing this I don't even know
Being random on paper is coming out well thought out
Cryptic yet seen the Coptic in me wants everything changed
The truth is less fantastic then my own reality
Chug roar huff puff sit and bark howling at the moon
Devastated in my own head and I don't know why
I want the memories to go but I can't remember this
The spark that sent my world up in smoke
Who pushed the button that set me to self destruct?
I know everything and yet nothing because all that matters is this
Why I can't be random in speech yet so imaginative in thought
Perfection in the way, ok well make it dead
How can I not be what I hate so blank so blank so blank so blank!
Sunday, November 25, 2012
A Stab In The Back?
Heavy footsteps on the pavement
The rhythm increases in tempo
Faster and faster they pound
Coming up behind you turn to see
Nothing, just thoughts left in a mess
So who are you to tell me to think twice?
It's my business if I think just once
You can't stand there and say don't talk shit
When I see the pain inflected by who I shoot my arrows at
Young and naive you don't know a thing
Coming at me like a stranger in the dark
Knife in hand to cut me off
What can you give besides a pain in the back?
Never phased just thrilled at the rush of change
Go ahead and swing because what you hit will not be flesh
But armored skin that breaks the blade
Lucky for you that I see you as useless
Otherwise I might of had to choke a bitch
The rhythm increases in tempo
Faster and faster they pound
Coming up behind you turn to see
Nothing, just thoughts left in a mess
So who are you to tell me to think twice?
It's my business if I think just once
You can't stand there and say don't talk shit
When I see the pain inflected by who I shoot my arrows at
Young and naive you don't know a thing
Coming at me like a stranger in the dark
Knife in hand to cut me off
What can you give besides a pain in the back?
Never phased just thrilled at the rush of change
Go ahead and swing because what you hit will not be flesh
But armored skin that breaks the blade
Lucky for you that I see you as useless
Otherwise I might of had to choke a bitch
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Only Pieces (NEW CHARACTER)
I see a man in my mind
A man who lives in the realm where dreams go to die
Where you go to sleep and you don't wake up
That land filled with smoke and buildings brought to ash
Walking through pain every moment because the very air is burning flames
His skin is torn like he was beat with barbed wire
Flesh falls on the ground and is smashed with dragging feet
Crying blood that runs black against a face covered in contrition
Eyes moist like the ocean lay behind his mind
Seeing the past at all times
His hands are televisions that only replay the mishaps
Looking down into them he can't but remember
That it was by these hands he helped slay the innocent
His heart beats on his sleeve and it is worn there for all to see
That guilt is a killer because it only pumps in sad increments
Clothed in shame his robe is black from years of funeral pyres
Feet calloused from all the teeth he's kicked in
What was this man before turning to such a dreadful sight?
This man is the other half of the monster
The Bruce Banner to his Hulk
The hunter to the werewolf
The monster to his Frankenstein
No name just incomplete
It is only when the facts are put in place does his skin grow back
Ageless through time he is already dead
But to bring him back to life takes the forgiveness of others
Risen out of the rubble the boy saw a hand coming from the debris
Pulling him up he knew that this was his protector from all those year before
A perfect child he could never forget a loving face
Especially for the fact that he created this man and breathed life into him
So this is what the beast became after the battles ended and I went to sleep
A shell of a man falling apart like melting snow on the moutain
Visions of the frame that is driven through who's fingers now type this appear
Shell within a shell how is that for irony?
Put my pieces together, gather them back from those I left them in
Every time you killed a part of me was left
And every time you struck that blow I died a little inside
For if you don't this is what will happen
The beast will live forever and the monster will drive the shell in mans reality
Life as we know it will be lost so gather me back together
This is how we bridge the gap and make everything right
This is how you live with yourself by making all things right
Perfection is coming and this is how it's so
Take back all the beatings you gave and I'll be healed all in order that
I will disappear for all time and you'll finally love youself
Now the pull and tug begins on the boy
Because in this creature are two beings who both want different things
The broken wants to die but the beast wants to live eternally
Sort this one out it will take more then a day
But I'm glad this character appeared in order that we can see some potential outcomes
A man who lives in the realm where dreams go to die
Where you go to sleep and you don't wake up
That land filled with smoke and buildings brought to ash
Walking through pain every moment because the very air is burning flames
His skin is torn like he was beat with barbed wire
Flesh falls on the ground and is smashed with dragging feet
Crying blood that runs black against a face covered in contrition
Eyes moist like the ocean lay behind his mind
Seeing the past at all times
His hands are televisions that only replay the mishaps
Looking down into them he can't but remember
That it was by these hands he helped slay the innocent
His heart beats on his sleeve and it is worn there for all to see
That guilt is a killer because it only pumps in sad increments
Clothed in shame his robe is black from years of funeral pyres
Feet calloused from all the teeth he's kicked in
What was this man before turning to such a dreadful sight?
This man is the other half of the monster
The Bruce Banner to his Hulk
The hunter to the werewolf
The monster to his Frankenstein
No name just incomplete
It is only when the facts are put in place does his skin grow back
Ageless through time he is already dead
But to bring him back to life takes the forgiveness of others
Risen out of the rubble the boy saw a hand coming from the debris
Pulling him up he knew that this was his protector from all those year before
A perfect child he could never forget a loving face
Especially for the fact that he created this man and breathed life into him
So this is what the beast became after the battles ended and I went to sleep
A shell of a man falling apart like melting snow on the moutain
Visions of the frame that is driven through who's fingers now type this appear
Shell within a shell how is that for irony?
Put my pieces together, gather them back from those I left them in
Every time you killed a part of me was left
And every time you struck that blow I died a little inside
For if you don't this is what will happen
The beast will live forever and the monster will drive the shell in mans reality
Life as we know it will be lost so gather me back together
This is how we bridge the gap and make everything right
This is how you live with yourself by making all things right
Perfection is coming and this is how it's so
Take back all the beatings you gave and I'll be healed all in order that
I will disappear for all time and you'll finally love youself
Now the pull and tug begins on the boy
Because in this creature are two beings who both want different things
The broken wants to die but the beast wants to live eternally
Sort this one out it will take more then a day
But I'm glad this character appeared in order that we can see some potential outcomes
Monday, November 19, 2012
Reconciling
Laying awake in bed all night
All I can think about is something I already wrote about
For some reason I feel like going back in time
Not to change the outcome of things
But to remember the things that I did to make other people stumble
Now I want to live like a repented thief on his cross
Asking for forgiveness but not for himself
Only for the fact that you will know that I realize my missteps
Yes it is true that I saw all the tears they cried in the night
All on account of me and the things that came after
That I caused so much pain that unhealthy heads led to baby making
How many girls was I with in the past,
Who after I left suddenly they got pregnant?
At first I was thankful that none of them looked like me
But now I'm looking at the pictures and seeing that they look like you
With no one there to help you
The older I get the more compassionate I get
And I hate it because there is no power in remorse
Holding onto hate and pointing the blame makes the flame white hot
Burning up to the ceiling the house that I lived in burned down
But how do you reconcile with people you can't see?
People that you have no idea how to contact or even what to say
It's hard living like this
Maybe now I know why that monster lives in the closet
To feed on all the people like skeletons Halloween decorations
Bones hanging by ropes that were wrapped around necks
Placed by hands that were connected to the necks that were about to snap
Not only did I kill I did it without any blood on my fingers
Killed them with words and it scares me to see how my mind really is
Don't piss me off because I'll talk you into the grave
And if that doesn't work I'll walk away and tear your soul out as I leave
Sometimes I remember the words spoken like daggers
Stabbing you in the heart and when I see the blood I have to drink it
Vampire man coming out in the sun but my skin ain't glowing
I only get darker and darker with every step I take toward your murder
So that was all it took to get you six feet deep
But I don't want that life I can't live that life
Murder is so messy even when committed surgically
I just pray that these ghost of my past don't wish death on me
Walking with open arms I receive a bullet to the belly
It looks like CPR but she will just be sucking the life out of me
The funny thing is is that I can't even remember all of their names
Invisible faces from my memories are coming back to haunt me
I don't know what has gotten into me
Like a new state that is growing into a character form
There is this part that wants to reconcile with my past
So when I look back in that album it doesn't bring me to anxiety fueled fear
In my dream though I see them drawing 9mm's on me
Color the picture with my favorite crayon
Red like the rage that fills my eyes
Suddenly the roles have been reversed but maybe that's not such a bad thing
Because now they carry the burden and it will be lifted off of me
These are the thoughts of a mad man who seeks sanctuary in his own soul
So for a moment the blankness has gone away
And now that the smoke has cleared all I see is weakness and it kills me
I always knew that it would come one day
But I never wanted to go out like this
Oh well, fuck it, bring it on past I could never see my own future anyway
All I can think about is something I already wrote about
For some reason I feel like going back in time
Not to change the outcome of things
But to remember the things that I did to make other people stumble
Now I want to live like a repented thief on his cross
Asking for forgiveness but not for himself
Only for the fact that you will know that I realize my missteps
Yes it is true that I saw all the tears they cried in the night
All on account of me and the things that came after
That I caused so much pain that unhealthy heads led to baby making
How many girls was I with in the past,
Who after I left suddenly they got pregnant?
At first I was thankful that none of them looked like me
But now I'm looking at the pictures and seeing that they look like you
With no one there to help you
The older I get the more compassionate I get
And I hate it because there is no power in remorse
Holding onto hate and pointing the blame makes the flame white hot
Burning up to the ceiling the house that I lived in burned down
But how do you reconcile with people you can't see?
People that you have no idea how to contact or even what to say
It's hard living like this
Maybe now I know why that monster lives in the closet
To feed on all the people like skeletons Halloween decorations
Bones hanging by ropes that were wrapped around necks
Placed by hands that were connected to the necks that were about to snap
Not only did I kill I did it without any blood on my fingers
Killed them with words and it scares me to see how my mind really is
Don't piss me off because I'll talk you into the grave
And if that doesn't work I'll walk away and tear your soul out as I leave
Sometimes I remember the words spoken like daggers
Stabbing you in the heart and when I see the blood I have to drink it
Vampire man coming out in the sun but my skin ain't glowing
I only get darker and darker with every step I take toward your murder
So that was all it took to get you six feet deep
But I don't want that life I can't live that life
Murder is so messy even when committed surgically
I just pray that these ghost of my past don't wish death on me
Walking with open arms I receive a bullet to the belly
It looks like CPR but she will just be sucking the life out of me
The funny thing is is that I can't even remember all of their names
Invisible faces from my memories are coming back to haunt me
I don't know what has gotten into me
Like a new state that is growing into a character form
There is this part that wants to reconcile with my past
So when I look back in that album it doesn't bring me to anxiety fueled fear
In my dream though I see them drawing 9mm's on me
Color the picture with my favorite crayon
Red like the rage that fills my eyes
Suddenly the roles have been reversed but maybe that's not such a bad thing
Because now they carry the burden and it will be lifted off of me
These are the thoughts of a mad man who seeks sanctuary in his own soul
So for a moment the blankness has gone away
And now that the smoke has cleared all I see is weakness and it kills me
I always knew that it would come one day
But I never wanted to go out like this
Oh well, fuck it, bring it on past I could never see my own future anyway
You Think You Know Someone
Turns out you don't really know anyone
There is always that deep dark secret
There will always be that hidden vice
That part of them the makes them a born sinner
I know that I have it
I've got a monster in my closet and only 2 ladies know about it
They are the only two who can help me hold it up
But getting back, you never can tell about somebody
How many undercover killers are really out there?
How many baby rapist or people who hate their moms?
How could you not respect your own flesh and blood?
Everything has to be about you with you at the center
Well I've got news for you bitch the universe has me and its apex
The center mass of density so heavy that everything orbits around it
My soul that's been drifting throughout the cosmos
I'm God in my own mind and you disrespected the one I love the most
So it's over now and now I'm going to tell you the future
Everything that you worked so hard for is going to be gone
You made my girl cry so for that you will be lashed
Smacking you with my forked tongue you will bleed all over your piano
No one knows this business better then I do
And no one knows that my real business is murder and business is booming
Holding onto steel bars is the hand of this monster
Set and ready to slam your head into the concrete
Moral of this story is that you never really know someone
Even your very own cousin, so fuck you bitch I'm gone
Good luck in the future but I'm here to tell you it only looks bleak
Without me you guys are nothing and I can't wait to sit back and laugh
See didn't I tell you that it was all gonna fall apart?
There is always that deep dark secret
There will always be that hidden vice
That part of them the makes them a born sinner
I know that I have it
I've got a monster in my closet and only 2 ladies know about it
They are the only two who can help me hold it up
But getting back, you never can tell about somebody
How many undercover killers are really out there?
How many baby rapist or people who hate their moms?
How could you not respect your own flesh and blood?
Everything has to be about you with you at the center
Well I've got news for you bitch the universe has me and its apex
The center mass of density so heavy that everything orbits around it
My soul that's been drifting throughout the cosmos
I'm God in my own mind and you disrespected the one I love the most
So it's over now and now I'm going to tell you the future
Everything that you worked so hard for is going to be gone
You made my girl cry so for that you will be lashed
Smacking you with my forked tongue you will bleed all over your piano
No one knows this business better then I do
And no one knows that my real business is murder and business is booming
Holding onto steel bars is the hand of this monster
Set and ready to slam your head into the concrete
Moral of this story is that you never really know someone
Even your very own cousin, so fuck you bitch I'm gone
Good luck in the future but I'm here to tell you it only looks bleak
Without me you guys are nothing and I can't wait to sit back and laugh
See didn't I tell you that it was all gonna fall apart?
Caught
At a table holding bread in my hand
Who's flesh do I have to take to change my mind?
Commune with the darkness and suddenly you're in a white room
No doors no windows no way in and no way out
Caught by my love leaving the conscious world behind me
Entering into the realm where all thought leaves
Contemplating nothing and all because of what,
My parents didn't talk to me and suddenly I own no ego?
Explain to me again the Id and super-ego
Tell me what Fraud said about little boys wanting sex with their mothers
That is so much bullshit
Because all I want to do is set this world on fire
Friends from the past first so I can hear their screams to ignite me
Taking the flame of murdered flesh to make the voices go away
Now would you look at this
Look at how far that my anger made me digress
Put these puzzle pieces together and formulate an opinion
Because I don't see anything except all the parts that are missing
Falling head first into the padded room
Straight jacket locked tight to my mind
Everything goes quiet so quickly except when I have to write it
Yet I know how to vocalize
But for the life of me I just can't think
So take me away in the hearse
Here comes a breakthrough
Finally seeing some of the picture
My worth
It ain't worth a damn so call the mortician
Opps caught again slipping away
Tired of this game here comes the .38 round
But before I go I just have to have one more laugh
She caught me in my weakest moment
When I didn't even know that I was living in it
I've gone crazy kids so don't forget to write me
I'll be living on a beach with a blood red ocean
On the boarder of insanity and perplexity
Who's flesh do I have to take to change my mind?
Commune with the darkness and suddenly you're in a white room
No doors no windows no way in and no way out
Caught by my love leaving the conscious world behind me
Entering into the realm where all thought leaves
Contemplating nothing and all because of what,
My parents didn't talk to me and suddenly I own no ego?
Explain to me again the Id and super-ego
Tell me what Fraud said about little boys wanting sex with their mothers
That is so much bullshit
Because all I want to do is set this world on fire
Friends from the past first so I can hear their screams to ignite me
Taking the flame of murdered flesh to make the voices go away
Now would you look at this
Look at how far that my anger made me digress
Put these puzzle pieces together and formulate an opinion
Because I don't see anything except all the parts that are missing
Falling head first into the padded room
Straight jacket locked tight to my mind
Everything goes quiet so quickly except when I have to write it
Yet I know how to vocalize
But for the life of me I just can't think
So take me away in the hearse
Here comes a breakthrough
Finally seeing some of the picture
My worth
It ain't worth a damn so call the mortician
Opps caught again slipping away
Tired of this game here comes the .38 round
But before I go I just have to have one more laugh
She caught me in my weakest moment
When I didn't even know that I was living in it
I've gone crazy kids so don't forget to write me
I'll be living on a beach with a blood red ocean
On the boarder of insanity and perplexity
Old Man
Skins getting softer
The world is getting colder
Sun beats down harder
Wind blows so much louder
Sweat and fear drip from wrinkled brow
Walking down the street without power
I feel like one day I will eventually get old
Everything I hold will die that day
All that will be left is the shell
Even that little boy won't be here
How many times have you seen me
Eyes full of rage
Holding in my arms the means to destroy
But what happens when all that goes?
What will be my worth?
I won't be able to protect no one
Then and finally then will I be able to see myself?
Will my fear of the mirror finally subside?
Is that the day I look into glossed over eyes,
No emotions left I lived them all out?
My prison sentences will be lifted
And all my hate will have been burned away?
How can I live as an old man?
Young bones carry ancient secrets
I'm already tired so what is my future?
Father time and mother nature
Here they come to get me
Open up the earth and throw me in the pit
Maybe it was for all the times I spilt blood on it?
Take me back in time with the old mans mind
I hate this man I am
The story of my life
Perfection is a fickle bitch
Its chocked me out and I love being passed out
Stick a fork in it I'm done
The world is getting colder
Sun beats down harder
Wind blows so much louder
Sweat and fear drip from wrinkled brow
Walking down the street without power
I feel like one day I will eventually get old
Everything I hold will die that day
All that will be left is the shell
Even that little boy won't be here
How many times have you seen me
Eyes full of rage
Holding in my arms the means to destroy
But what happens when all that goes?
What will be my worth?
I won't be able to protect no one
Then and finally then will I be able to see myself?
Will my fear of the mirror finally subside?
Is that the day I look into glossed over eyes,
No emotions left I lived them all out?
My prison sentences will be lifted
And all my hate will have been burned away?
How can I live as an old man?
Young bones carry ancient secrets
I'm already tired so what is my future?
Father time and mother nature
Here they come to get me
Open up the earth and throw me in the pit
Maybe it was for all the times I spilt blood on it?
Take me back in time with the old mans mind
I hate this man I am
The story of my life
Perfection is a fickle bitch
Its chocked me out and I love being passed out
Stick a fork in it I'm done
Wolf
I saw it on the screen all my evil deeds come back to kill me
Growing up to be the product of evil seed spread on dying dirt
Satan spawn grabbing knives by the blade to stab you with the handle
But to live with the life I had the beast had to be formed
A protector to be the only friend I would need to dry my eyes
When mommy and daddy screamed at me for what seemed like nothing
I used to think why did you even have me if all you do is hate me
But I found solace in the paws of the wolf man
Walking around in ripped jeans like the hulk
And when he smashes everything he sees it only gets worse
Crawling on all fours that's when the fangs appear
Sharpened to crush with one bite
I eased into that muscle and fur to become him
The wolf that doesn't howl
There is no need to call out to others
All he wants to do is kill and that monster is me
So what is yearned for is taken
Drinking the blood of others
You have yet to see the powers that exist in me
Supernatural only begins to describe the hate in me
Look into blue eyes as the begin to turn red
Flames come up and suddenly you're just a bunch of ash
Call me menace one more time and I'll turn your city upside down
I am the wolf and I devour for the hell of it not even to eat
So how do you deal with that?
You don't, so call animal control I'm in the mood for man flesh!
Growing up to be the product of evil seed spread on dying dirt
Satan spawn grabbing knives by the blade to stab you with the handle
But to live with the life I had the beast had to be formed
A protector to be the only friend I would need to dry my eyes
When mommy and daddy screamed at me for what seemed like nothing
I used to think why did you even have me if all you do is hate me
But I found solace in the paws of the wolf man
Walking around in ripped jeans like the hulk
And when he smashes everything he sees it only gets worse
Crawling on all fours that's when the fangs appear
Sharpened to crush with one bite
I eased into that muscle and fur to become him
The wolf that doesn't howl
There is no need to call out to others
All he wants to do is kill and that monster is me
So what is yearned for is taken
Drinking the blood of others
You have yet to see the powers that exist in me
Supernatural only begins to describe the hate in me
Look into blue eyes as the begin to turn red
Flames come up and suddenly you're just a bunch of ash
Call me menace one more time and I'll turn your city upside down
I am the wolf and I devour for the hell of it not even to eat
So how do you deal with that?
You don't, so call animal control I'm in the mood for man flesh!
No Name
Sitting in the blank thinking back to my past
Reliving over again the pain that was caused
Looking at the scars to find that they were self inflicted
The victim of adolescent burnings and yearnings
Searching in the dark for emotional affairs
If she only knew what I did when the light went off
She wouldn't be standing by my side when I cry
Trusting in the fact that somehow I've forgotten my sin
Telling me in those quiet times that I'm not really evil
For the sake of art that what I speak is just what I need
That the monster doesn't really exist
But little does she know that I can't write without him
That without him I am not me
That I have to feel like shit to get anything out
So full of fear that what I've tried to hide is coming back
Haunting me like a nightmare on repeat
It just doesn't turn off yet I'm somehow supposed to connect it
Living with the past to take hold of my future
The bridges just burn from the air that is made out of fire
What is my worth except to suffer without a name
I have no name just the memories of all the fuck ups
Thinking back gets dangerous when the past is full of traps I ran from
Scandalous ideas begin to creep back in
I seduced little girls that have grown up to have babies that aren't mine
Side note, I'm not just talking about the last girl
And as I sit here and think was I the one that sparked the flame to get them to act like this?
Was I the one who made them spread their legs for other men when I left?
Eats you up inside when you think the world revolves around you
Even though it makes so much sense
Because in those moments where it gets dark, clouds roll in and rains starts to fall
Falling so far I remember how all I cared about was the next girl to devour
Moving from one to another there are so many names that I don't even remember
How is this for some free association?
This is why it gets deadly to think back because now I doubt myself
All the work I've done is down the toilet now and I'm in danger
The night is young and there is more writing to be done
I think I know why I go blank now
Because thinking back brings fear and not thinking doesn't bring anything back
Rivaling your journey doesn't make sense because all this time I was lonely
No one knows what it's like to be the man of sin in the life of another
When you realize that your righteousness is nothing but wicked thoughts projected on others
How do you live without the want to erase all my thoughts?
Take back my name and revoke my birth
That's my lot anyway to live life as the no name demon who ended life itself
Not only for himself but for everyone he touched
Reliving over again the pain that was caused
Looking at the scars to find that they were self inflicted
The victim of adolescent burnings and yearnings
Searching in the dark for emotional affairs
If she only knew what I did when the light went off
She wouldn't be standing by my side when I cry
Trusting in the fact that somehow I've forgotten my sin
Telling me in those quiet times that I'm not really evil
For the sake of art that what I speak is just what I need
That the monster doesn't really exist
But little does she know that I can't write without him
That without him I am not me
That I have to feel like shit to get anything out
So full of fear that what I've tried to hide is coming back
Haunting me like a nightmare on repeat
It just doesn't turn off yet I'm somehow supposed to connect it
Living with the past to take hold of my future
The bridges just burn from the air that is made out of fire
What is my worth except to suffer without a name
I have no name just the memories of all the fuck ups
Thinking back gets dangerous when the past is full of traps I ran from
Scandalous ideas begin to creep back in
I seduced little girls that have grown up to have babies that aren't mine
Side note, I'm not just talking about the last girl
And as I sit here and think was I the one that sparked the flame to get them to act like this?
Was I the one who made them spread their legs for other men when I left?
Eats you up inside when you think the world revolves around you
Even though it makes so much sense
Because in those moments where it gets dark, clouds roll in and rains starts to fall
Falling so far I remember how all I cared about was the next girl to devour
Moving from one to another there are so many names that I don't even remember
How is this for some free association?
This is why it gets deadly to think back because now I doubt myself
All the work I've done is down the toilet now and I'm in danger
The night is young and there is more writing to be done
I think I know why I go blank now
Because thinking back brings fear and not thinking doesn't bring anything back
Rivaling your journey doesn't make sense because all this time I was lonely
No one knows what it's like to be the man of sin in the life of another
When you realize that your righteousness is nothing but wicked thoughts projected on others
How do you live without the want to erase all my thoughts?
Take back my name and revoke my birth
That's my lot anyway to live life as the no name demon who ended life itself
Not only for himself but for everyone he touched
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Alchemist
Turning lead into gold if only by magical thinking dreams came forth
What would it be like if I could take every feeling and every word
Setting it to action and watching as everything I hate falls before me
Bowing to myself from within myself and I don't see it being even a possibility
Yet this black art takes charge in my heart as the only hope that this boy has
Feeling like Joseph Smith going out into the forest meeting an angel who was really a demon
Telling him a part truth that all religions are dead and that there is something better
But instead of pointing him to the savior he gave him rose colored glasses
Look into this hat and read this secret symbols that unleash lies upon the earth
So without going any further into the fallacies of the Mormon people
I can stand here today and tell you that I know what it's like to be lied to be potential deity
Nothing worse then feeling like you were destined for something great
Then you wake up in the morning and you're still in that studio apartment
Refrigerator empty except for some 2 year old pizza that even the bugs don't want
I've been forced to drink blood for breakfast and piss for dinner
How I wish I was a magician that could turn my wishes to be king into reality
To be the man that rules the world and sets the tax rate where I would never cry again
So from the first verse you will now realize that as ruler the world has become a slaughterhouse
These are the longest lines I've ever done like Gary Busey on a mirrored table with razor blades
Hurry up and get me that brick of worthless metal so I can turn it into platinum
Au and Pt and suddenly I'm the new kid millionaire fighting with his own military
Chemical symbols dropping in the arts like anthrax in an envelop headed for my senator
Holy shit that was a terrorist claim I hope the Feds aren't watching me write this
But that's the world that I live in and it just so happens that everyone is now dead
I'm a scientist with a degree in the grotesque and a minor in the insane
Dear God can you hear me, just make my words form to life like when you spoke creation
I want to see myself enthroned above the throne of heaven but I don't want to be the devil
Make me into the nothing that I feel inside so that I will finally be found worthy
Because everything that is nothing comes from nothing and I want to go back to end how I suffer
Pull the trigger here I come one last time before the clock strikes 12 let's hope alchemy is real
What would it be like if I could take every feeling and every word
Setting it to action and watching as everything I hate falls before me
Bowing to myself from within myself and I don't see it being even a possibility
Yet this black art takes charge in my heart as the only hope that this boy has
Feeling like Joseph Smith going out into the forest meeting an angel who was really a demon
Telling him a part truth that all religions are dead and that there is something better
But instead of pointing him to the savior he gave him rose colored glasses
Look into this hat and read this secret symbols that unleash lies upon the earth
So without going any further into the fallacies of the Mormon people
I can stand here today and tell you that I know what it's like to be lied to be potential deity
Nothing worse then feeling like you were destined for something great
Then you wake up in the morning and you're still in that studio apartment
Refrigerator empty except for some 2 year old pizza that even the bugs don't want
I've been forced to drink blood for breakfast and piss for dinner
How I wish I was a magician that could turn my wishes to be king into reality
To be the man that rules the world and sets the tax rate where I would never cry again
So from the first verse you will now realize that as ruler the world has become a slaughterhouse
These are the longest lines I've ever done like Gary Busey on a mirrored table with razor blades
Hurry up and get me that brick of worthless metal so I can turn it into platinum
Au and Pt and suddenly I'm the new kid millionaire fighting with his own military
Chemical symbols dropping in the arts like anthrax in an envelop headed for my senator
Holy shit that was a terrorist claim I hope the Feds aren't watching me write this
But that's the world that I live in and it just so happens that everyone is now dead
I'm a scientist with a degree in the grotesque and a minor in the insane
Dear God can you hear me, just make my words form to life like when you spoke creation
I want to see myself enthroned above the throne of heaven but I don't want to be the devil
Make me into the nothing that I feel inside so that I will finally be found worthy
Because everything that is nothing comes from nothing and I want to go back to end how I suffer
Pull the trigger here I come one last time before the clock strikes 12 let's hope alchemy is real
Back With A Fistful Of Nothing
Back to the blank slate just like back in the day
Again with the paper and pen just digital
Looking over it like I was studying a map
Trying to find my enemies like a general just caught in adultery
I guess greatness comes with a craving
That has nothing to do with sleeping with your wife
But I digress let's get back to business
We are back in a white room with no doors or windows
Figure how the cure is supposed to come out of nothing
How am I supposed to get better when I can't name the symptoms?
Just another day in the place where I follow a girl in my car with the lights off
Licking my lips and figuring when the monster is gonna make an appearance
You just don't seem to understand that in this room I stand
It's full to the brim with emptiness
Someone has to speak in order for the book shelves to come out of the walls
Man it really grinds my gears that I always feel like a failure
Almost 25 years old with nothing to show for it
Add another 25 and now I'm 50 and there is still that feeling
That even in that time I still won't amount to my perfections standards
But at least I'm back and this time like a man even more possessed
Holding a gun with no ammunition let's see how this plays out
How can I kill you with this pistol that is just a replacement for a hammer?
Oh well, I guess only time will tell and I've got to tell you I fucking hate that!
Again with the paper and pen just digital
Looking over it like I was studying a map
Trying to find my enemies like a general just caught in adultery
I guess greatness comes with a craving
That has nothing to do with sleeping with your wife
But I digress let's get back to business
We are back in a white room with no doors or windows
Figure how the cure is supposed to come out of nothing
How am I supposed to get better when I can't name the symptoms?
Just another day in the place where I follow a girl in my car with the lights off
Licking my lips and figuring when the monster is gonna make an appearance
You just don't seem to understand that in this room I stand
It's full to the brim with emptiness
Someone has to speak in order for the book shelves to come out of the walls
Man it really grinds my gears that I always feel like a failure
Almost 25 years old with nothing to show for it
Add another 25 and now I'm 50 and there is still that feeling
That even in that time I still won't amount to my perfections standards
But at least I'm back and this time like a man even more possessed
Holding a gun with no ammunition let's see how this plays out
How can I kill you with this pistol that is just a replacement for a hammer?
Oh well, I guess only time will tell and I've got to tell you I fucking hate that!
Friday, November 2, 2012
Carry Your Scars
Oh if you only knew what I would do for you
You don't speak because you're afraid I'll worry
But you don't understand that with love comes anxiety
That I have to protect you
Whatever the cost whatever the price
I see you sick and struggling
If I could I would bare all your pain
Take the tumors and put them inside me
I'll cry all the tears you cried
Walk through the fire set before you
Just so you wouldn't have to feel a moment of weakness
I would let the scars be a symbol of my heart
Of how it beats only for you
And if it stops it only stops at your word
It gets me so upset when I see you pressed
When mommy and daddy scream at you
Reminding me of the hell I went through
My soul is so much darker then yours
Don't get tainted in sin like I am
Let me take the blows and be your whipping boy
How can the whip crack my demon armor?
Yet behind dark eyes lit blue from hell fire the burns underneath,
There is a man who will always love you
No matter what the circumstance
I see the hand of God at work in you
Crafted from the purest of all materials
To know you suffer is like I've been put through a blender
Your shield and your rock will always be right here
The love you always deserved is never going to leave you
Don't be afraid baby no one will ever hurt you again
There is a monster that protects the innocent and he sees your beauty
From the depths of your soul to the skin you lavishly ordain
With gems and precious stones yet they don't compare to your smile
So let your man take this on for you
Recognize that with me you have nothing to fear for fear fears me
You don't speak because you're afraid I'll worry
But you don't understand that with love comes anxiety
That I have to protect you
Whatever the cost whatever the price
I see you sick and struggling
If I could I would bare all your pain
Take the tumors and put them inside me
I'll cry all the tears you cried
Walk through the fire set before you
Just so you wouldn't have to feel a moment of weakness
I would let the scars be a symbol of my heart
Of how it beats only for you
And if it stops it only stops at your word
It gets me so upset when I see you pressed
When mommy and daddy scream at you
Reminding me of the hell I went through
My soul is so much darker then yours
Don't get tainted in sin like I am
Let me take the blows and be your whipping boy
How can the whip crack my demon armor?
Yet behind dark eyes lit blue from hell fire the burns underneath,
There is a man who will always love you
No matter what the circumstance
I see the hand of God at work in you
Crafted from the purest of all materials
To know you suffer is like I've been put through a blender
Your shield and your rock will always be right here
The love you always deserved is never going to leave you
Don't be afraid baby no one will ever hurt you again
There is a monster that protects the innocent and he sees your beauty
From the depths of your soul to the skin you lavishly ordain
With gems and precious stones yet they don't compare to your smile
So let your man take this on for you
Recognize that with me you have nothing to fear for fear fears me
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
