A Different View Of Things

Never have I been so confused
Conflicted I confided in people that I had grown to hate
For years this was all about them
Nothing I did would ease me off
Going back time and again
To see me off that rock took time but I made the leap
And in the storm I found myself
Hand in hand with beauty
All I live for is to see her through
Stumbling back to things I don't understand
They offer advice and love and pour out their wealth
Once I was at their expense and now I am as their prince
What do I do with it you will sit and ask
But for the first time in so long I cannot think
I have no answer
Hearing voices that say it is all so different
Being in the midst of the battle
Makes you look at everything as if it was more harsh
Though my world is already so warped
How could it go and get so much worse?
I don't know how to be what I'm asked to be
Yet I do it without question
Looking for no payment
For once when the monsters called
Voices from the past the used to be used for death
I turned them down seeing the tears of my beloved
In a future that would be ruined
Even if it was a just kill, a righteous war, an act of mercy
Fuck! I can't think and there is no answer in the sky
Lost lost lost
A view from a world that I do not understand
Seeing through the eyes of someone with a softer perception
The spirit is willing but the flesh is unsure
Overtaking me that red demon that could silence them all
Now has to lay in a frozen state way back in a realm I can no longer access
Fate seems to have me upon a different path
But I feel like I'm eating myself alive
Wasting away, I disappear into oblivion
For what cost is what the wise will one day ask
The answer in the distance will be just as much of a question as they ask
No one no one was able to give account
Answers could not be conjured in the dark
Just tell me what do to for once make it easy
I've fallen to my knees and humbly plead 
Take this rage in my heart and use it for what is right
This is something beyond what can be fought
But in the end it will be just like the start
I feel a doom coming and there is no stopping it
Who knew that it would all come to this